Forget you, and forget her too

In the words of Fox Mulder....trust no one.

That dude may be crazy but he's right. A little bit tired of working on myself to let go and trust people and then get slammed. I think it's only fair that others prove their worth to be trusted as well. Doesn't feel quite right that only one side does all the working and fixing.

I may have severe trust issues that I chip away at every day, but for the most part, people have trustworthiness issues they do nothing about. And, well, like a good test monkey, I like rewards for my efforts and I'm not seeing much of that.

I'm sure it's just a mood, but at the moment I want nothing to do with anyone. Sorry, everyone gets thrown under the same giant bus.

I did what?

I never got it, I still don't nor do I think I ever will.

The way other people think still shocks me.

Just when I think I've figured out who to trust and why I shouldn't keep my guard up, I get slapped in the face with reality....again.

If only I did half the things people assume about me, I'd be one bad-ass mother effer. But sadly, I really am this naive and good hearted.

What I still can't accept and figure out is if I should continue being the way I am...and if I'm even capable of changing who and how I am.

Either way, my self doubt and second guessing always kicks into high gear when someone throws a monkey wrench into my self esteem.

such is life.

Deep thoughts....yet again

Has anyone ever wondered why men's facial hair grows the way it does? It grows up to their cheek bones, stops and then continues as regular hair on the head (hopefully). Why do men need a fur coat on their cheeks and around their mouth? Why leave the cheek bone and forehead clear of hair? I mean they have eyebrows too....

I must look into this. Evolution must have an answer?

Yes. These are the kind of things my brain ponders when i have a day-long migraine.

Oh and a blog from last night is coming...holding for pictures ;) promises of good good things.

Rain, Beats and Rock and Roll.

You know how you can tell you love music?

When you hit the Sunset Strip on a rainy night in Los Angeles with a broken toe and 3 hours of sleep in your system. Not to mention the fact that you hit more than one club with 3 different types of music.

The amount of eye candy my brain took in tonight has to be lethal in some countries.
Speaking of countries, every band I saw tonight was from a different country!

Pulling up to the Viper Room, I have to admit I was slightly ticked off because the usual $10 parking lot was overfilled and they were charging $20..for the best reason ever, "it's hectic and it's raining tonight" the attendant tells us. Really, Sherlock?? It's Oscar weekend on the Sunset Strip...with strange moisture falling from the sky...no shit it's hectic. This doesn't give you the right to charge double for parking spots you no longer have vacant.

Sadly for him, in the midst of all the chaos, he actually forgot to charge me. So, free parking for us tonight. Win.

With literally seconds to spare, we made it into the darkness of the Viper room to watch Gina and the sexy block. Ya, I changed the name. It's gonna be official...at some point.

Here comes a confession, I was a bit afraid that the last time I saw them, I may have gotten overly excited. I told myself tonight would be a test to see if I'm really that gungho about them, or if it was just a phase.

Well, I not only confirmed my love for them, but I think I may have become a groupie. No thongs thrown on the stage (yet) but I actually danced. I don't dance.
This music purely and simply boils my blood and makes me move. Everything is in such perfect blend. Deaf people would move to the beat of Marc's drums! It's incredible to see the absolute passion and how much he, Todd and Gina submerge themselves in each song. A herd of elephants could walk across the stage and neither one of them would notice. And neither would I. If anyone from the band caught me staring, I apologize greatly.

My point? I don't know how their music manages to make me go bonkers but it does. It's distortion, earth moving drums with a touch if dirty vocals. I'm a sucker for pleasure pain and this seems to do it from the inside. I feel like I'm at a strip club and they are the 3 hottest strippers lap-dancing my ears. And if this makes sense to you, we should definitely hang out more.

I had no clue who was coming on after Gina, nor did I really care. I was outside, getting soaked by the downpour and I was loving it.

A short walk to the Whisky was in my plans. 3 minutes and a full white girl fro later, we were in the Whisky. I hadn't been here in nearly a decade and the last time I was there I was thoroughly wasted. I must say, it's a much nicer venue than I remembered. Much less blurry and much more fun.

We walked in when the Vains of Jenna were setting up. A few go-go dancer asses in my face later they were up and running and holy crap did I not expect what I was about to hear. I've never seen them play, but I've heard a bit of hype about Vains of Jenna.

 These guys have their shit together!! They LOOK like rockstars, they ACT like rockstars, and most importantly...they SOUND like rockstars! I was ridiculously skeptical about hearing them play. Usually when guys have long hair, guy liner, tight black pants, studded belts, and glammed out shirts (if any at all)...they end up sounding like a broke ass, wanna be 80s rock band. Well, I was pleasantly slapped in my face by REAL rock, REAL vocals...and I mean ROCK vocals! Did I mention that every single member (and stand in member) were stupid hot?!

Their front man needs to be detained and handcuffed (and immediately sent to see me). That kid's charisma and smile would break even the coldest of hearts. Anyway, I'm hooked. Its safe to say I'll be back at the Whisky to see Vains of Jenna.


Up next were the boys I came to see. Juke Kartel minus Todd? Must figure out where they've hidden him and why. I miss his golden locks flailing around as he molests his guitar.

With a few technical difficulties (which they handled like pros by simply going a cappella) they killed their usual set and threw in a new song called "Shadow". I'm still obsessed with Throw It Away and Save Me so it's gonna take a while to get me used to new material. Toby refuses to take his shirt off no matter the amount of encouragement I throw at him. One day.

The Whisky also threw in a Juke Kartel signed Gibson guitar at the end of the night. A lucky birthday girl won it with her raffle ticket. Though I was tempted to tackle her and steal it, I went against my impulses, as I'd like to return to the venue in the near future.

At 2am, my eyes, ears and brain were thoroughly overloaded with happiness and goodness. Gina and her sexy block, hot rock boys, sexy Ausies. It was a bit unfair. It was like baby Jesus sprinkled some sexy with that rain that fell upon us tonight. I wondered what other places did since all the pretty people seemed to be on the strip tonight.

I'm still yell-whispering. My ears are ringing. It's my favorite sounds to sleep to.

Good night and thank you Los Angeles for a beautifully perfect rainy night of music.

Bubble wrap sponsorship.

If anyone knows me really well, you know that I am a walking accident waiting to happen. I bump into things that aren't there, I knock over things that are physically too far to reach, I even drop things that generally cannot be dropped. In most cases I end up injurig myself in the process. And when I injure myself I like to make sure I do it well enough to remember. Like a scar or a broken bone.

Today was no different.

One broken toe: check.

HERstory

On a completely random phone call to my uncle today, I learned a brief history of my grandmother and grandfather on my mom's side.

I heard just the smallest bit about how they met and it opened my eyes to my history. I'm excited for how much more there is to discover.

Best thing about it? There are many many recorded tapes of my grandmother telling story upon story about her life in the war and much much more.

My plan? To digitize these tapes and start listening to every single word. And nobody knows what could be next....a book? a movie?

Time will tell.

One thing is for sure, I will love just KNOWING everything. I'd never met my grandfather and I've been told my personality is a mirror image of him. Can't wait to see who I am.

technological cock block

I realized today how hard it is for people to lie these days. Especially kids to their parents. I remember how when I was a kid, some 15-20 years ago (I know shocking, I look like this was just yesterday, I thank my genes for the young looks) I would just tell my parents I was going to a friend's house and then run off to god knows where doing god knows what. Most certainly none of it was kosher nor at my friend's house. Today, I would get a call on my iPhone which they would have boobie trapped with a tracking device and some sort of spy camera that records everything I do. Because my parents are Russian like that and they actually WOULD track it.

My point is, technology has made it almost impossible to lie. And even more so, it has eliminated the need to lie. You can now do everything you ever needed to on the go....wherever that may be. Your dog can no longer eat your homework because you can now research, type and print your homework in the span of 5 minutes, all from your phone. You can be the CEO of some multi-million dollar company, no longer needing a reason for why you are late for a meeting because you are doing a face time conference call with people in Japan, out of the comfort of your strip club chair where you are receiving a lap dance. You can compile entire spreadsheet reports while sitting on the can, butt-ass naked.

Which begs the question of why do we even need to go into an office these days? Aside from the actual face to face jobs like day care, or a nurse or firefighter....things that, you know, MATTER. Everything else can be done on our spiffy hand held smart phones.

It's fascinating and distrubing all at once. Because kids now text each other rather than going outside to play a game of street hockey or teepeeing someone's house. Even BULLYING happens with the stroke of a key. I remember when bullying was something more along the lines of getting your ass stuffed into the your locker, not talking shit about you behind the glare of your computer screen.

Makes me wonder where this will put us in 5 years.

Maybe in 10 years, with evolution, babies will be born with larger thumbs for texting purposes. I know I've already lost the ancient art of HAND writing because all I do is type.