Today, I shall be....a PONY!

I have to come clean about something. 

 It's true. 

I chose to be gay. 

All this time I've been lying. 

There I was, at age 15 thinking "you know, I'm sick of being treated like a human. Look at those homos, they have all these rights! I never get my ass kicked or get harassed for being straight! nobody looks at me funny when i hold a guy's hand. Kids never call me a fagot or a dyke. my parents accept me. what the fuck?! i deserve to try gay and get all that! who wants to go be by their loved one's side when they are in the hospital anyway!?? and i certainly wouldn't want to get a tax break by getting married, or be selfish by being able to put my partner on my medical plan. Starting today, I will be gay! And there's nothing you can do about it!"

Yup. Couldn't fathom living my life being accepted as part of the "norm". Choosing to be gay was the best day of my life! Kinda like the rest of you chose to be ignorant assholes the day you were born.

Think before you speak, folks. Telling someone their sexual orientation is a choice is like calling their nationality a choice. I can't just suddenly choose to be Chinese one day. It just kinda sorta doesn't work that way. Your blood, your genes, and your orientation is something you're born with.

 

and today....I shall be a PONY!

Glory Days

Keep in mind, the only person that remembers how cool you were in high school is YOU. If you haven't made something of yourself since then, well then you need to let go of that glory and realize there's more to life than your days of drug/alcohol induced awesomeness. And while, we're on the subject, it becomes uncool to wear your letterman jacket once you are able to buy your own beer.

Just sayin.

Aaaaannnnd we're back!

It appears I have somehow stumbled upon free time in my life. That time between when I SHOULD be falling asleep and the time when I ACTUALLY fall asleep. So....this time will now be filled with either going to the gym, snacking the entire house until I pass out from a food coma...OR...letting my brain purge in what can only loosely be referred to as "writing."  Don't blame me, blame the sandman that seems to have lost his directions to my house. I haven't moved, buddy...still here...waiting for my effin nightly beauty rest.  Anyway, I digress. I'm back. For as long as I have the time to write and enough smart ass things to bitch about...I've missed you.

Soapbox

Soapbox:

You know, it absolutely baffles me that people think gays are asking for something above and beyond what is naturally expected of humans. 

I'm not an activist by any means nor do I go around bashing people for their beliefs or religious views or sexual orientations. I honestly could care less of either of those choices by any other human. 

All I ask is the same in return. 

We aren't asking for handouts or special treatment or for anyone else to be proud and approve of our lifestyles. Because frankly, you are entitled to your opinion just as much as I am. Maybe the thought of divorce and frivolous marriages turns my stomach just as much as two gay men or women kissing turns yours. Thats not what's up for discussion here, however. 

All gay people want, is the same treatment as straight people. 

Period. 

Close your eyes when you approve the marriage license...it's that simple. If you have zero problem signing a marriage license between two straight people which you KNOW will call it quits in less than 6 months (if that) then you shouldn't have a problem signing a marriage license between ANY other two people, be it gay or straight. 

The sanctity of marriage is dependent on it's longevity and commitment, not the kind of "equipment" two people bring to it.

Get in the caah.

I find myself laughing every time I walk the dog. Not because I have a hot dog wiener on a leash, but because I keep yelling at her to go potty and in my head it sounds like I'm from Boston asking her to go party. Go PAAHTTY!! She must agree because she still won't go when we are outside. Waits to come back in the house and poops on the training pad. /sigh can't win em all. At least it's not on the floor :)

Ode to the dego

I can't thank my lucky stars enough for shifting mountains and the entire universe to bring such an amazing soulmate into my life.

It's not that I'm incomplete without you, it's that I would be lost without you. You are the carbon opposite copy of me. Somehow everything you are I'm not and everything you aren't I am. This complex mix of opposites has proven to be the perfect blend of compatibility. You stole my heart just like you steal my pillows at night: swiftly and unnoticeably from right under me. 

You may keep them both, but if you dare drop one of them, I promise you I'll kill you first ;)

 

Anniversary

I've been so caught up in writing something fun about my life every day that I completely missed the fact that it's been just over a year since I started this blog. 

What was a mission to write 365 straight days has turned into 374 (somehow) and also has proven to be a tiny journey through my life, in bits and pieces of some heavy but mostly funny and silly things. 

I went back and read the beginning posts and remembered the place I was in mentally emotionally and physically when I started writing. 

I was broken. 

At my absolute best I was still in the worst possible place in every aspect except being taken care of by my family. I had no desire to live life and to keep fighting what felt like a pointless and endless battle. 

It's incredible to me what a year of pushing your limits can do. Even in my worst days where I woke up crying and exhausted, I didn't give up or surrender. I may have lost a good number of days to the anxiety but in the end I kept on the fight for the next day. 

I'm happy now. I broke through my own weaknesses and pushed beyond my life long habits. I took chances and made huge decisions. I took leaps head first without a single thing protecting me from crashing and burning. 

In 29 years, I finally put myself first. And it feels amazing. Because I know that by doing so I'm not abandoning anyone. I'm still the same loving, caring, helpful person I was before, just a lot stronger as a person because I allow myself to be strong for myself first. 

I'm thankful for the people in my life right now. Every single one of them plays an intricate role in the way my life has come to be: happy.