I took the first two pills in the morning, ate a light breakfast and went to the hangar to volunteer at scrimmage. Let me just try to bottle the experience of Thunder....I've never taken any drugs in my lifetime so I can't really compare it to anything, but I imagine if one were to combine cocaine and some sort of anti ADD medication, they would achieve the first dose of Thunder.
My usual brain fog turned upside down and became the most hyper focused mental activity I've ever experienced in my entire life. Imagine being able to hear, see, feel, taste, and smell everything in HD....ALL AT THE SAME TIME. It's not a pleasant feeling by any means. In fact, it made me uncomfortable and anxious. I felt so over stimulated. And at the same time, I was actually able to process most of what was going on. This was new.
After helping out with scrimmage, I was absolutely exhausted. All I really wanted to do was nap. That proves to be a problem in my life. Always. I can't nap nor do I ever want to miss out on the day by napping. Long story short, I didn't nap and in fact, after eating and properly hydrating myself (at which i am SO TERRIBLE still) I was ok and able to participate in an amazing day of showing our friend around who made the trip to PDX with my car from LA. (YAY!!) I'm certain that the very low dose of 2 pills wore off just after lunch so I felt much better.
While the focus was there, something else familiar was also back. Pain. I guess I'd forgotten how much my body hurts with this disease when I was taking the Lighting pills because they are designed to calm the nervous system and aid with the neurological misfires. Thunder has not only failed to suppress the pain, but it seems to have stirred up some deeper pains and kicked the toxins into high gear. I missed a day of putting lemons in my water and felt like I was for sure going to die.
It's been hot the last few days, and as I mentioned before, the heat makes me extremely uncomfortable. Today was one of those REALLY uncomfortable days. At one point, we visited an antique store in Sellwood and because it was so muggy and warm in there, I felt the tunnel vision and profuse sweating creep up on me. I hate that feeling. I did what any normal person would do in that situation. I took my shoes and socks off and stood barefoot in the middle of the store, paying for my finds. Maybe that's just my normal. There's something about having my feet exposed and touching the ground that calms me and allows my core temperature to drop when I feel panicked.
I'd also realized I hadn't had any water for quite a few hours at that point. Luckily, at dinner I was able to ask for an entire plate of lemon wedges to shove into my water, and proceeded to chug as much of it as I could without drowning. Almost instantly, I felt better. I still had my shoes off at this point, so I won't speculate what helped me most.
So far, I hate thunder. It's pissing off the ick (that's become my nickname for this shitty bacteria) and making me super sensitive to absolutely everything that triggers flare-ups. (Sugars, carbs, etc)
I've got at least 2 and a half more weeks of this, with increasing dosage, and I cannot WAIT to see how that makes me feel. <insert heavy sarcasm>
I won't lie, I hate this process. Physically I've hated the last two days that have left me feeling crippled. Mentally, I'm tired and hopeful still, somehow. Emotionally, I've loved the last two days because I got to spend them with my person and a great friend, doing really great things. I even finally got to go to Joe's Crab Shack and destroy a bucket of exoskeletal sea life.
Fuck you, Lyme. You can't keep me from enjoying the company of amazing people that make my face light up with smiles.
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