Before you start forming your own opinions on me about this, I’d like to say that these are based on factual information. There are actual studies that you can look up yourself (because frankly, I’ve done it and think everyone should as well).
Also, these are generalized statements. Meaning that like everything living, there are outliers or things outside the norm.
10% of men have a female working brain and 20% of women have a male working brain…and lots of other combinations in between.
The studies and research are meant on a majority-rule basis.
So go untangle your panties and boxers and read for fun.
10. Multitasking: I don’t know another creature on this planet, let alone another gender, that can successfully talk on the phone, put on makeup, clip the cat’s nails, change a diaper and watch American Idol all at once. (Not that watching football and drinking a beer isn’t multitasking, but I think the previous gets more points for difficulty level.)
9. Shop therapy: Its been proven that an hour of shopping for things we don’t need with money we don’t have actually relaxes women and makes us less of an evil to deal with. Even during our periods! Go figure.
8. Driving: I’m not sure I entirely agree on this but the proof is out there. Women are safer drivers. Get into less accidents and experience less road rage than men. It’s probably because we are too busy putting on makeup and texting while we mow over an entire village of farmer’s market shoppers.
7. Balance: All I can say is, a man that can balance on heels should have been born with a vagina. Studies show that women have superior balance to men (outside of wearing pumps).
6. Grey Matter: While our brains are significantly smaller in size, studies show that women actually have more grey matter. Meaning we use more of our brain to actually do things and process more information than men. See, size doesn’t matter…..at least here.
5. Erogenous zones: This should be a win for the men, if only they would research it a little more. Women have nearly double the erogenous zones than men. (Before you go googling the zones: Erogenous zones are areas on the body of highly concentrated nerve endings that are tiny little arousal booths. You do the right thing to them, we melt, plain and simple.) Now, go, google away.
4. Pain Tolerance: I hope all the men I know can at least admit to this one. Women simply can take more pain than men. This is why we give birth. Although I’d love to see a man trying to squeeze out a watermelon out of his urethra, I think it’s better women keep that right to bring life into the world.
3. Immune Systems: Women have stronger immune systems than men. Estrogen helps us keep a stronger defense system that prevents us from getting sick often. And if we do get sick, we get better faster. Somehow, I missed this train.
2. Crying: You know all those times you find us crying rivers and bitching to our friends? You should thank us for that and also take notes. Studies show that the act of crying (actual tears not just bitching and moaning) cleanses the body of toxins and also boosts mental states and releases stress. So, if you think we are crazy now, try not letting us cry that shit out every once in a while. I’m just saying.
1. IQ control: Yup there is an actual study showing that women are capable of lowering a man’s IQ between 10-15 points simply by looking sexy. A man truly is only capable of working one brain at a time, and while your manhood sucks all the blood from the rest of your body, you unintentionally go stupid for a period of time. You’re welcome.
Personally, I don’t relate to about 60% of those, but that’s because I’m a hybrid human known as the fifth element. Or version 2.0….or something.
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