Day 4: it herx so bad

I realize that it's only the beginning of day 4 but I wanted to post now because I shouldn't just post when I feel well enough to put sentences together and form a cohesive post.

I woke up this morning (earlier than normal) and have felt progressively worse since then. Everything hurts, my back, my hips and my feet feel like I have cement in them. It feels like there's an elephant on my chest. I can't take a decent breath in and I'm dizzy. I have just about enough energy to take my pills and make my morning smoothie so I can take the probiotics. I can actually FEEL the toxins having a party in my body. 

This is the Herx effect everyone kept asking about. It's here. And it fucking sucks. Really badly. But at least this means my body is fighting....?

I had a really important thing planned today which will have to be rescheduled and I'm beyond disappointed about it. As someone who normally ignores illness and pushes beyond it, I'm in a really strange place right now. I physically cannot ignore this. I physically and mentally cannot push through this. I simply have to accept and realize that today is just a bad day and that's OK! Part of the treatment process is knowing that you will feel worse before you feel better. Much worse. I'm hoping this is the much worse part, because I can't imagine feeling shittier. I have to accept that I'm not "being a pansy about it" and this is real and it will pass. 

Gonna go work through this.....just need to get up.