Ever stop to think why people do things? What drives them? I know in general people have different motivations. I'm talking more about doing nice things. Do they do it out of honest kindness or just to satisfy some part of their own character.
I don't think I've met too many people that do nice things for others just because it's the right thing to do. They do it because in their mind it's almost a bragging right of "see, I did something nice!"
Donating, for example. When do people donate? Right before the tax year cut off. Why? Because they really want to get rid of that old washer and dryer that's been sitting in their garage for 3 years collecting dust and it could probably help a family in need? Or because it's a pretty good deduction on your taxes? Donate that old car to a foundation that fixes it and provides an automobile for huge families in need? Or get close to 2k written off? Bring an unwrapped toy to get a ticket inside a car show? How about you bring the toy AND you pay like you normally would. That same kid won't have a toy even if you don't like car shows.
How about this new trend of posting a cartoon character from your childhood as your profile picture for a week to somehow battle child abuse?? What exactly are we battling? And how? I'm all for support but wouldn't "battling" be more productive if we tried to fix our court systems to take kids away from abusive parents instead of forcing a "dual" parenting concept that didn't work in the first place? How is giving custody to a deadbeat dad (partial or just visitation rights) conducive to a well rounded "family"?? You really think seeing your spawn for 3 hours a week is considered a "parent" figure?
You are only prolonging the problem and quieting down your own guilt and conscious. How about instead of the court dates, you relinquish your rights as an asshole parent and give someone else a shot at being a parent for YOUR offspring?
My point is, people are selfish by nature and it's sad. It's sad that superficial gestures are considered as kindness and REAL kindness is taken for weakness.
Once again, ass backwards.
Ya know, I disagree with ya. For me personally, I go out of my way to make sure other people do NOT find out about the nice things I do. Because it's none of their business. Sometimes I won't even tell a person that I did a nice thing to that I did it. Because I don't want anybody to owe me anything. If i do something nice it's usually for my honor, my dignity, or out of love. For me that's a personal thing and though i think it is only human to want to see recognition, or to see respect from other people because of it...i say fuck that.
ReplyDeleteI just can't be petty enough to throw my good deeds in front for everybody to see. It's private. And I think there are other people out there like me to, cause I watch for them and occasionally I see them. And I love those people.
I can say this here cause I don't know anybody but you and Brian and we've already shared some honesty.
My point is that NOT all people are selfish by nature. And if you really care then you'll seek out the ones that aren't. You'll celebrate and surround your life with them. cause in the end that's all that matters.
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As for the cartoon character...it's bullshit, but who gives a fuck. If it makes other people feel like they are contributing to something greater...ok. I put one up cause I like cartoon characters.
I totally agree that not ever single person is selfish by nature. I've met a handful (including you) that are the furthest from selfish. It's just sad to see that the majority of people aren't like you.
ReplyDeleteIronically, I had no idea about the cartoon crap and had Calvin up as my profile because I'm a rebel like that lol Calvin is my hero :)
People do things for reasons, Linda. It's easy to paint them with the "selfish" brush, but that's too easy. Everybody has a point of view, a perspective, and if we were to trade places, we would do the exact same thing as them.
ReplyDeleteLincoln said a lot of great things. One of my favorite Lincoln quotes comes from when he was having a conversation with his wife. And when Mrs. Lincoln spoke harshly of the Southern people, Lincoln replied, "Don't criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances."
You bring up a profoundly philosophical idea when you say that people are selfish by nature. I mean, that's a life altering philosophy, ya know?
And I'm not even sure anybody can prove it. All I'm saying is people do things for reasons. Some might be selfish, but there are good things too.
To be fair, I'm not sure you could disprove it, either.
ReplyDeletePersonally, other than your family, I've only known four people who were truly giving souls, and of those only two that were not selfish.
ReplyDeleteIt is a sad thing that the selfish behaviors are so rewarded in our society and promoted as a good thing, as capitalist, when in fact it has nothing to do with that but is an ugly unnecessary leftover from evolution, like overeager leg hair.
Stas and I were talking about this on the drive up and I think it's time for reshaping our education system to teach at a very young age the things kids should be getting at home, things like parenting skills, anger management, stress management, the consequences of abusing our planet, simple ways in which we can all help each other, how to properly care for animals, how to handle personal finances, practical application of nutrition, such as cooking basics as well as putting together a balanced meal.
Or we can take Stas' approach and nuke 3/4s of the planet.