A new year and a new start

I don't think there is another person that I know who is more looking forward to putting 2010 behind them as I am. From the first day of this year, it has been nothing but a struggle in every way possible. I lost everything that is ME this year. But before I start sounding like an ungrateful brat, I will say that it's not all been bad. It's been hard....very hard, but the lessons I've learned and the things I've overcome have made me much stronger and made me grow a thicker skin in a lot of ways.

I lost my health completely this year but through tenacity, the will to keep going and one understanding doctor (out of a dozen), I finally got to the bottom of the issue and am on the road to slowly rebuilding my health.

I lost (through necessity) my job, which in turn made me focus more on my own business.

I lost who I thought was a best friend only to learn a life lesson of trust, forgiveness and acceptance. (still working on that last one)

I lost my goal to move to the east coast. Which forced me to start accepting my current city and actually start learning a little bit more history about it.

I lost 7 months of connection to the outside world by falling into a depression causing me to shut out almost my entire circle of friends. This only proved to me who my true friends were and also forced me to stay afloat and fight for life and existence. It forced me to start THIS....writing. My other passion in life.

Which brings me to my fresh start. I've decided to go back to school and get a journalism degree. My ultimate goal is to write for a magazine. At this point it doesn't matter which one...but in the end I would love to write for a music magazine.

I've realized that in the past I have done things that I was good at but they were things that satisfied and helped everyone but myself. Writing is something that feels good for me...for MY soul. There are endless topics, ideas and directions to take. Something that can't be said about sitting behind a desk 9 hours a day staring into a computer screen that flashes numbers, formulas and financial statements. Don't get me wrong, all that was fun and exciting to do because it came easy to me...but in the end, all I got was bad eye sight, headaches, bad posture and creative thoughts about how I'd push my boss down the stairs one of those glorious fire drill days. There's only so much frustration you can swallow and bribe with "bagel Fridays". Cubicle life is just not my cup of tea. I need movement, and fluidity to keep me sane and living. All that stagnation made me absolutely bonkers.

And so it is. As soon as CSUN decided to come back to life after the holidays, I am going in to see a councilor to plan my courses and financial situation (unless someone wants to sponsor Linda's attempt at happiness?). I'm scared of going back...which only means its the perfect decision in life right now.


Big things in store for 2011.