I pride myself on being a really positive person in life even through the harshest of times. What I've forgotten is how to remain optimistic when life gets good. How to simply enjoy the good. How not to stick a monkey wrench in the wheel and disturb the happiness just because I'm not sure how to accept it.
For the first time in my life I feel like so many pieces of my puzzle of life are fitting together so nicely and easily. I can't lie and say I don't sit there and wait for the shit storm to hit. Where all comes crashing down. Because, I mean, the higher you go the harder you fall, right?
I'm undercutting my happiness and my absolute bliss by doubting the fact that I DESERVE this.
Putting aside my previous experiences with people and different kinds of relationships and going simply on the amount of....pain (emotional, physical, and mental) I've endured in the last year and a half...I deserve better. I deserve to look around and see myself surrounded by only the people that care about me and love me as much as I care about and love them.
It's frighteningly refreshing to not feel used and taken for granted.
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