I've had this profile for almost two and a half years...I think it's about time to start using it. I've always had something to say, so why not start putting it out there. Some things will be exciting, some will be completely boring. Some things may piss you off, and others may have absolutely no meaning. I will do my best to write daily even if its one sentence.
I apologize in advance for any foul language, harsh opinions, pure bluntness, and take full credit for any random brilliance.
Today?
I'm at my wit's end with this anxiety battle. In an effort to not become an addict, I decided to switch from Xanax to a daily happy pill. In order to do so, I needed to stop Xanax. Its been 10 days without anything and I'm feeling like life is upside down again. Dizziness, weakness, imbalance, and a complete collapse in my energy and state of emotional and mental being. All brought on by constant high levels of anxiety...caused by? God knows what.
New drugs start tomorrow morning. Side effects? Dizziness, nausea and headaches....guess that's a step above the dizziness, and migraines I get now. One day the trade off between the good and the bad will make sense to me, but not today.
Tonight I'm missing yet another show because I simply can't find my place in the X and Y axis on earth. As much as I would LOVE to be at the Troubadour getting some much needed ear damage, I am going to eat, drink tea and lay down to watch some more House MD. Fingers crossed that the first dose tomorrow morning won't make me too discouraged from getting through the first few weeks of new meds.
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being a good day, today is a 4....not quite "meh"
-LD
Hey Linds! What are the new meds? I am glad your off the Xanax:)
ReplyDeletexoxox
Buspar :)
ReplyDeleteI'm right behind you :D
ReplyDeleteThere are only a few things that I really hate in life and one of those has to be drug companies. I was in a serious relationship with a Psychiatrist for a couple years and I was close with a lot of her doctor friends and I know how it works, and I know that sometimes drug therapy is valid and needed--but on the whole I just think it's a bullshit way for drug companies to get rich by making people dependent on things they don't need.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck to you. There has to be a better way.
Wish there was Hime. I've tried a lot of things before resorting to drugs. I'm too much of a stubborn head to let life settle and just BE. I over analyze and over think just about everything you possibly can...and then some. I avoid some issues while fixating on trivial ones. So why not fix it? If it were only that easy. I've realized that I don't even need a shrink, I've figured out a way to have the sessions all on my own lol I have all the solutions and all the answers to my own problems. Hence the overthinking. I can handle the emotional and even maybe the mental stress, but the physical effects of the anxiety is what shuts me down...so drugs it is. Buspar is the mildest of all. Not a benzo, not an Maoi not an ssri...just an anti anxiety drug that helps with the physical symptoms. I'm crossing fingers and toes. I need my life back.
ReplyDeleteAnd now for that other physical symptom...insomnia.
Well, good you have a blog, cuz now i know more what's going on with you.....dude we need to talk...
ReplyDeleteHey LD
ReplyDeletewelcome to the club ....
i just got switched to Buspar too (among others)
it really helpes....people keep telling me how happy I look and seem ....give it time ....miss ya ....
TD
I am on the Buspar bandwagon too! Hope it brings you much needed relief!
ReplyDeleteGayle :)
Buspar should be given out at birth lol I think everyone eventually needs it! So far so good.
ReplyDelete