Sorry to disappoint, this blog won't be too funny. While packing I had a lot of time to think and marinate things I've been through in life and the experiences I've had and the people I've been with and met. What did I ponder?
Monogamy.
Who can honestly say that they are completely comfortable with being with ONE person and to boot…for the rest of their lives?? Call me what you like but the thought of being with one person offends me. It makes no sense to me that ONE person, one PERSONALITY can keep your attention for the rest of your life. Maybe this means I haven’t found that person yet, but I find it hard to believe that they exist. I will fully admit to the fact that I’m hard to stimulate and people have to jump through hoops to keep my attention. I’m like a kitten. I like to play with pretty much anything shinny but I lose interest quickly if it stops being shinny. I’d have to find one extra special shinny toy that keeps me entertained long enough to stop my ovaries and my mother from asking for babies. How do you reach a point of comfort with someone without being absolutely bored out of your mind, or worse yet, feeling like that person is only trying to make you into something you aren’t.
The bottom line is, someone would have to understand and accept the fact that I’m easily distracted and although I’d never want to cheat on anyone, I’d have one hell of a time trying not to if I was just not feeling it anymore. Ironically, knowing this about myself doesn’t at all make me comfortable if someone I finally cared enough about told me the same in return. So what does that make me? A hypocrite? A bitch? Or just recognizing who I am and putting it out there blindly to see who will accept me as a whole….one giant mess of contradictions and hypocrisies.
Lin, there are no rules. Smile n pack ur boxes! :)
ReplyDeleteTo be honest.... There has not been a toy shinny enough to keep my interest. I think I am not meant to be with ONE person. It's all great at first and then something changes and it stops being nice and just becomes annoying. I love my kids and that's all that matters to me. My kids happiness = my happiness! I'm a bitch and a hypocrite.... But I know what I want and what I will NOT tolerate. LOL
ReplyDeleteLinda ^ above said it right.... There are no rules!
Sweets- not all people fit into the same box. Perhaps you haven't met anyone interesting enough or perhaps the hubby and 2.5 kids is not for you, the important part is figuring out what DOES work for you and being happy. Life is too short to live a lie.
ReplyDeleteTory, see I can't even get to the point of having kids lol I think I gotta fake it til I make it!
ReplyDeleteMeg, you may be on to something...just breaks my heart because all my parents ever want is for both my brother and I to have a family. I just hope there's someone out there that can tolerate my wishy washiness lol I don't want perfection, I just want someone who understands and goes with the flow. Someday. Until then, I'm cool by myself :)
1991 I was 31, I new I'd never get married and have children, I love being single, I loved not having to answer to anyone...I came America because my best friend had moved here and was lonely and asked, no begged, me to come over, I said ok, but only for six months. I'm still here,and by 1993 I was married and a mum,..and it's been good, in all the time I've been married, I've never wanted to be with someone else, I made a decision to make life as wonderful for my son as I could, He has the absolute best dad any child could ask for and life has been basically great. What I'm trying to say Angel Poop, is your life and philosophies can change in one single moment..and that's life!
ReplyDeleteI, too, used to feel much as you do right now. I really did! I was always going to be the Jane Goodall of the bug world and go live in the jungles of Africa and all that jazz. Marriage and kids? Meh. But I stand (okay type) before you today as an absolutely, fabulously happily married woman with her first baby girl on the way. And believe you me that no one is more surprised or grateful than me.
ReplyDeleteIs my life perfect? Um, no, but it is happy and full! Perfect may not exist, but goodness, joy and fulfillment can and does exist in monogamy. To answer your perhaps rhetorical question, no, I don't think you have met the right person yet. I agree wholeheartedly with Annette that everything changes in a moment. Don't stop believing in or looking for that moment...or that person.
I know you and I know you want kids. Don't give up on your dreams just because you cannot see around the next bend or two in the road. I firmly believe we will always find what we expect to see, because that is what we have our eyes trained to see. So many opportunities and good things get passed by simply because we are not looking for them. We believe we know better, and we tell ourselves what to expect, and do not stop looking until we've proved ourselves right.
I respectfully disagree that there are no rules. There are rules. And they bless your life and help maintain the structure of a lasting relationship rather than feeling like weights or chains. I assure you that Mike and I do not feel trapped or not our true selves in the covenant of marriage we made to each other. It allows our home to be a place of peace and refuge and enduring love. True love does endure despite imperfections, and your life is richer for going through the good times and bad together.
Your guy is out there. I believe it. No you need to believe it, too. You deserve the very best...as a rule. ;)
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