I know it sounds ridiculous but counting down the last few seconds of 2010 was like waiting to jump off a bridge attached to a bungee cord. Leaving the bullshit behind and jumping head first, lungs filled with anticipation of unknown and unchartered futures.
If I were indeed jumping, I'd have a huge smile on my face and two middle fingers pointing to the sky. I can't regret anything as long as I've learned at least some small lesson from it. Some lessons are hard to find in the midst of all the chaos but they are always there.
So long you lingering, painful, and selfish year. I've found a new, caring and supportive year that is promising nothing more than what I will work hard for. It won't stand in my way and throw monkey wrenches into my wheels.
Happy new beginnings my friends. Let's make this new decade count.
No resolutions. Just goals.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
A new year and a new start
I don't think there is another person that I know who is more looking forward to putting 2010 behind them as I am. From the first day of this year, it has been nothing but a struggle in every way possible. I lost everything that is ME this year. But before I start sounding like an ungrateful brat, I will say that it's not all been bad. It's been hard....very hard, but the lessons I've learned and the things I've overcome have made me much stronger and made me grow a thicker skin in a lot of ways.
I lost my health completely this year but through tenacity, the will to keep going and one understanding doctor (out of a dozen), I finally got to the bottom of the issue and am on the road to slowly rebuilding my health.
I lost (through necessity) my job, which in turn made me focus more on my own business.
I lost who I thought was a best friend only to learn a life lesson of trust, forgiveness and acceptance. (still working on that last one)
I lost my goal to move to the east coast. Which forced me to start accepting my current city and actually start learning a little bit more history about it.
I lost 7 months of connection to the outside world by falling into a depression causing me to shut out almost my entire circle of friends. This only proved to me who my true friends were and also forced me to stay afloat and fight for life and existence. It forced me to start THIS....writing. My other passion in life.
Which brings me to my fresh start. I've decided to go back to school and get a journalism degree. My ultimate goal is to write for a magazine. At this point it doesn't matter which one...but in the end I would love to write for a music magazine.
I've realized that in the past I have done things that I was good at but they were things that satisfied and helped everyone but myself. Writing is something that feels good for me...for MY soul. There are endless topics, ideas and directions to take. Something that can't be said about sitting behind a desk 9 hours a day staring into a computer screen that flashes numbers, formulas and financial statements. Don't get me wrong, all that was fun and exciting to do because it came easy to me...but in the end, all I got was bad eye sight, headaches, bad posture and creative thoughts about how I'd push my boss down the stairs one of those glorious fire drill days. There's only so much frustration you can swallow and bribe with "bagel Fridays". Cubicle life is just not my cup of tea. I need movement, and fluidity to keep me sane and living. All that stagnation made me absolutely bonkers.
And so it is. As soon as CSUN decided to come back to life after the holidays, I am going in to see a councilor to plan my courses and financial situation (unless someone wants to sponsor Linda's attempt at happiness?). I'm scared of going back...which only means its the perfect decision in life right now.
Big things in store for 2011.
I lost my health completely this year but through tenacity, the will to keep going and one understanding doctor (out of a dozen), I finally got to the bottom of the issue and am on the road to slowly rebuilding my health.
I lost (through necessity) my job, which in turn made me focus more on my own business.
I lost who I thought was a best friend only to learn a life lesson of trust, forgiveness and acceptance. (still working on that last one)
I lost my goal to move to the east coast. Which forced me to start accepting my current city and actually start learning a little bit more history about it.
I lost 7 months of connection to the outside world by falling into a depression causing me to shut out almost my entire circle of friends. This only proved to me who my true friends were and also forced me to stay afloat and fight for life and existence. It forced me to start THIS....writing. My other passion in life.
Which brings me to my fresh start. I've decided to go back to school and get a journalism degree. My ultimate goal is to write for a magazine. At this point it doesn't matter which one...but in the end I would love to write for a music magazine.
I've realized that in the past I have done things that I was good at but they were things that satisfied and helped everyone but myself. Writing is something that feels good for me...for MY soul. There are endless topics, ideas and directions to take. Something that can't be said about sitting behind a desk 9 hours a day staring into a computer screen that flashes numbers, formulas and financial statements. Don't get me wrong, all that was fun and exciting to do because it came easy to me...but in the end, all I got was bad eye sight, headaches, bad posture and creative thoughts about how I'd push my boss down the stairs one of those glorious fire drill days. There's only so much frustration you can swallow and bribe with "bagel Fridays". Cubicle life is just not my cup of tea. I need movement, and fluidity to keep me sane and living. All that stagnation made me absolutely bonkers.
And so it is. As soon as CSUN decided to come back to life after the holidays, I am going in to see a councilor to plan my courses and financial situation (unless someone wants to sponsor Linda's attempt at happiness?). I'm scared of going back...which only means its the perfect decision in life right now.
Big things in store for 2011.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
when you've got worries, all the noise and the hurry, you can always go....downtown
I've come to realize a few things lately:
1. I've lived in Los Angeles nearly 19 years and have never actually BEEN downtown. I don't mean driving by and parking your car in a lot across the Staples Center or a concert venue. I mean taking the metro and buses and walking around til your little toes are numb. It's like walking the Sunset Strip versus parking next to the Roxy and walking 3 feet to the door. It's incredible how much you see and how much you miss when you're driving.
2. I've been feeling a little but down and overwhelmed lately and realized how much I miss my stand in Grandfather, friend, mentor and voice of reason. Sy Sher. I crashed into his lap as a snotty teenager who knew far too much for my own age and didn't take anyone's bullshit nor listened to anyone's advice. He quickly read me like the open book that I am and put my ass in place. He has thus far been the only person not related to me whom I've listened to and trusted with my life and also allowed to tell me what to do and how to live life. I owe so many life experiences to him and so many life lessons.
3. I have an amazing best friend. Someone who truly understands me. Someone who is willing to be there when I blow a gasket and yell. Someone who isn't afraid to push my buttons. And most importantly, someone who laughs with me and wipes my tears.
Today was my second day of attempting to accept Los Angeles the way it is and trying to get myself slightly more cultured in this ginormous city. First stop was at Mt. Sinai to have a brief but emotional chat with Sy to let him know how much I miss him and how much I wish he were here to see me grow from the snot nosed teenager he met and how much influence he had on me for who I've become...on every level. He assured me he's not left my side and told me to wipe my eyes and nose because when calling me a "snot nose" he didn't mean it literally. I miss his smile, his laugh and most of all his humor and sharp mind.
The rest of the day was spent roaming the streets of Downtown Los Angeles with my best friend. Splashing puddles, taking pictures, getting lost, reading Chinese, missing buses, circling the same block 4 times before realizing the bus stop was on the NEXT block, eating new foods, peeing in public toilets, crawling up steep streets and taking aerial tram rides.
I truly couldn't ask for a more perfect day.
My legs are like noodles, my brain is soaked in new appreciation for the city, and my soul is smiling.
You win this one, Los Angeles.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Confidential
As much as I keep this pretty open to the public as far as what goes through my mind on a daily basis, there are still some things that I simply can't share or just don't want to share for the sake of keeping some sort of sense of privacy.
That said, I did, in fact write today. A lot. A letter to someone. It's something I learned a long time ago in therapy. ( yes, therapy...because seriously, not a single one of us can claim to be perfectly happy with our lives without some kind of professional help along the way)
Anyway, I learned that when you are bogged down with an issue that either revolves around someone or is ABOUT someone, and you don't necessarily want to speak to them (and at times even if you do) you should sit down and write it all out. Addressed to them, as if they are sitting in front of you with nothing held back. Write it as if you will never send it to them and as if they will never hear it from you. You'll be pretty amazed at the amount of honesty, sincerity, and deep rooted thoughts that get regurgitated. It's one of the most therapeutic things I've ever learned how to do.
Sadly, after writing it, I still feel the need to send it to this person when I know there is absolutely zero use of doing so. I'll hang on to it for now. Usually I throw this away or delete it, but this one can linger for a bit until I decide if I need to send it.
Amazingly fun and spontaneous trip to the LA Zoo today with two fun souls.
Let's see what troubles tomorrow brings.
That said, I did, in fact write today. A lot. A letter to someone. It's something I learned a long time ago in therapy. ( yes, therapy...because seriously, not a single one of us can claim to be perfectly happy with our lives without some kind of professional help along the way)
Anyway, I learned that when you are bogged down with an issue that either revolves around someone or is ABOUT someone, and you don't necessarily want to speak to them (and at times even if you do) you should sit down and write it all out. Addressed to them, as if they are sitting in front of you with nothing held back. Write it as if you will never send it to them and as if they will never hear it from you. You'll be pretty amazed at the amount of honesty, sincerity, and deep rooted thoughts that get regurgitated. It's one of the most therapeutic things I've ever learned how to do.
Sadly, after writing it, I still feel the need to send it to this person when I know there is absolutely zero use of doing so. I'll hang on to it for now. Usually I throw this away or delete it, but this one can linger for a bit until I decide if I need to send it.
Amazingly fun and spontaneous trip to the LA Zoo today with two fun souls.
Let's see what troubles tomorrow brings.
Nothing in life is free?
I may be revisiting this issue a bit, and it's probably because I will never really understand it.
I come from a family that will literally take the shirt off their backs to help someone else and not want anything in return. Genuinely. I think a lot of people have trouble understanding that, let alone accepting it.
Guys (you know who you are), I'm sorry to put you on the spot lol its a coincidence that I write about this today.
A fairly new friend needed a ride to the airport today and I wasn't asked directly but I didn't think twice to offer a ride. It actually baffles me that not more people were there to help. Isn't friendship all about reliability and having someone beside family to count on in times of need? I would hate to have to take a cab or a shuttle to the airport in a city where I live and am surrounded by so called friends.
I know it's hard for most people to grasp, but I didn't step up so I can gain anything. It's probably plain out strange to people that someone you barely know takes you just because you needed to be taken and not for any other reason. I give you full permission to discuss the strangeness, but rest assured, there's nothing behind it aside from enjoying driving.
I don't know. Some day I'll try to understand people's underlying motives for doing things and hopefully some day, others will understand that there are no motives for me. I just do what I can in hopes that when I need a friend, one will be there.
I come from a family that will literally take the shirt off their backs to help someone else and not want anything in return. Genuinely. I think a lot of people have trouble understanding that, let alone accepting it.
Guys (you know who you are), I'm sorry to put you on the spot lol its a coincidence that I write about this today.
A fairly new friend needed a ride to the airport today and I wasn't asked directly but I didn't think twice to offer a ride. It actually baffles me that not more people were there to help. Isn't friendship all about reliability and having someone beside family to count on in times of need? I would hate to have to take a cab or a shuttle to the airport in a city where I live and am surrounded by so called friends.
I know it's hard for most people to grasp, but I didn't step up so I can gain anything. It's probably plain out strange to people that someone you barely know takes you just because you needed to be taken and not for any other reason. I give you full permission to discuss the strangeness, but rest assured, there's nothing behind it aside from enjoying driving.
I don't know. Some day I'll try to understand people's underlying motives for doing things and hopefully some day, others will understand that there are no motives for me. I just do what I can in hopes that when I need a friend, one will be there.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Must be that time of year
Forgiveness showed it's ugly head again today. I'm so sick of feeling guilty for being hurt and pissed off at someone. I'm sick of the selective amnesia my brain seems to have when it comes to someone royally fucking me over and me completely forgetting about it soon after. I'm not saying I want to hold grudges (god knows I hold enough grudges with other people), but man does it suck to miss someone that shit on your head and hurt you so deeply. Instead of feeling proud for walking away and staying away, I get days like these where I feel so lost in it all and actually miss them.
I guess I keep thinking that human nature can't possibly be that mean and it was all just a mistake. They have to feel the same, right? Or am I the only one feeling like a potentially great friendship went down the shitter?
Fuck it. This too shall pass.
I guess I keep thinking that human nature can't possibly be that mean and it was all just a mistake. They have to feel the same, right? Or am I the only one feeling like a potentially great friendship went down the shitter?
Fuck it. This too shall pass.
And then, Jesus was born. Happy birthday kid, it gets worse from here.
Sometimes all you need to relieve a little holiday stress is to send everyone off for a long drive, be left alone in the house, so you can clean and do 5 loads of laundry on Jesus' birthday.
At least that's how I deal with it.
I'll admit to the fact that up to about a year ago I wasn't one of the tidiest people you'll ever meet. I wasn't a slob, I just didn't always put things back where they belonged for a while. Something snapped in my head, or maybe I finally realized that girls aren't supposed to be messy, or maybe my best friend and my OCD finally made friends and turned on me all together. I don't care what it was but for about a year now, I simply can't stand a messy home. I actually get pleasure from cleaning the house and putting things back and seeing things get clean. There's an invisible weight sitting on my shoulders when something is out of place or things aren't where I want them to be.
Anyway, today, vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen, and doing the laundry was the perfect way for me to spend my Christmas day. Honestly.
Domestication is a strange thing to me. Before you know it, I'll be cooking full meals and changing diapers....wait...I do that already....well, maybe one day, for the happiness of my mother, they will be my kids.
Merry Christmas everyone.
At least that's how I deal with it.
I'll admit to the fact that up to about a year ago I wasn't one of the tidiest people you'll ever meet. I wasn't a slob, I just didn't always put things back where they belonged for a while. Something snapped in my head, or maybe I finally realized that girls aren't supposed to be messy, or maybe my best friend and my OCD finally made friends and turned on me all together. I don't care what it was but for about a year now, I simply can't stand a messy home. I actually get pleasure from cleaning the house and putting things back and seeing things get clean. There's an invisible weight sitting on my shoulders when something is out of place or things aren't where I want them to be.
Anyway, today, vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen, and doing the laundry was the perfect way for me to spend my Christmas day. Honestly.
Domestication is a strange thing to me. Before you know it, I'll be cooking full meals and changing diapers....wait...I do that already....well, maybe one day, for the happiness of my mother, they will be my kids.
Merry Christmas everyone.
And then, Jesus was born. Happy birthday kid, it gets worse from here.
Sometimes all you need to relieve a little holiday stress is to send everyone off for a long drive, be left alone in the house, so you can clean and do 5 loads of laundry on Jesus' birthday.
At least that's how I deal with it.
I'll admit to the fact that up to about a year ago I wasn't one of the tidiest people you'll ever meet. I wasn't a slob, I just didn't always put things back where they belonged for a while. Something snapped in my head, or maybe I finally realized that girls aren't supposed to be messy, or maybe my best friend and my OCD finally made friends and turned on me all together. I don't care what it was but for about a year now, I simply can't stand a messy home. I actually get pleasure from cleaning the house and putting things back and seeing things get clean. There's an invisible weight sitting on my shoulders when something is out of place or things aren't where I want them to be.
Anyway, today, vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen, and doing the laundry was the perfect way for me to spend my Christmas day. Honestly.
Domestication is a strange thing to me. Before you know it, I'll be cooking full meals and changing diapers....wait...I do that already....well, maybe one day, for the happiness of my mother, they will be my kids.
Merry Christmas everyone.
At least that's how I deal with it.
I'll admit to the fact that up to about a year ago I wasn't one of the tidiest people you'll ever meet. I wasn't a slob, I just didn't always put things back where they belonged for a while. Something snapped in my head, or maybe I finally realized that girls aren't supposed to be messy, or maybe my best friend and my OCD finally made friends and turned on me all together. I don't care what it was but for about a year now, I simply can't stand a messy home. I actually get pleasure from cleaning the house and putting things back and seeing things get clean. There's an invisible weight sitting on my shoulders when something is out of place or things aren't where I want them to be.
Anyway, today, vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen, and doing the laundry was the perfect way for me to spend my Christmas day. Honestly.
Domestication is a strange thing to me. Before you know it, I'll be cooking full meals and changing diapers....wait...I do that already....well, maybe one day, for the happiness of my mother, they will be my kids.
Merry Christmas everyone.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
The chosen ones
It's true when they say that the best things in life are free. Like the family you're born into and the friends who become your chosen family. There isn't a dime you need to pay for true love, kindness and care.
Through all the trials and tribulations, my family still makes me ridiculously happy. Seeing so many smiling faces of kids. Hearing endless laughter. Sweating bullets from dancing with our grandmother. Spending such irreplaceable moments with the closest of my family and my best friends....is all priceless.
It leaves me with hope to know that, just maybe, I still make a good personality judgement call with at least one great friend. You are as much my family as any of my cousins, aunts, uncles, or nieces.
Maybe I'm getting old and sappy, but I nearly had tears in my eyes tonight. My soul was smiling and my mind was happy and relaxed.
Merry Christmas to my favorite humans in the world.
Through all the trials and tribulations, my family still makes me ridiculously happy. Seeing so many smiling faces of kids. Hearing endless laughter. Sweating bullets from dancing with our grandmother. Spending such irreplaceable moments with the closest of my family and my best friends....is all priceless.
It leaves me with hope to know that, just maybe, I still make a good personality judgement call with at least one great friend. You are as much my family as any of my cousins, aunts, uncles, or nieces.
Maybe I'm getting old and sappy, but I nearly had tears in my eyes tonight. My soul was smiling and my mind was happy and relaxed.
Merry Christmas to my favorite humans in the world.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Holiday Cheer
Ever stand in line at Ralph's at midnight on the night before Christmas eve with 30 other people in line just as annoyed that there is a line and only one register open and suddenly realize there's an extremely hot piece of ass in front of you, so you accidentally overhear his cell number (used as his club number) so you write it down and later text him to tell him that he's hot?
Ya, me neither.
Merry night before Christmas Eve day...
Ya, me neither.
Merry night before Christmas Eve day...
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
As you can see, there's not mushroom.
Some people are, what I like to call, mushrooms. No, not because they are poisonous. But because they seem to spring up after a good rain. And like the rain in Los angeles, it happens rarely and at random times.
I'm talking about those people that you talk to for periods of time and then stop for whatever reason. Then some time passes, you move on with life and sometimes even forget about them a little....and then WHAM! you have a missed call or a text message to your old phone number.
It's amusing to me. I'm allergic to mushrooms.
I'm talking about those people that you talk to for periods of time and then stop for whatever reason. Then some time passes, you move on with life and sometimes even forget about them a little....and then WHAM! you have a missed call or a text message to your old phone number.
It's amusing to me. I'm allergic to mushrooms.
Short bus day
It was one of those days today. Ended by slight electricution when turnin off the Christmas lights. I'm pretty sure I didn't lose any important initiation...although while brushing my teeth I did drool more than usual.
I hope it rains this much for a few more months. Happy days.
I hope it rains this much for a few more months. Happy days.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Live, love and laugh your ass off.
Sometimes after working in the garage all day, cleaning the house and finishing the Christmas shopping, all you really need is a good hour of pure laughter with your best friend.
All it took was looking at one photographer's portfolio and a tiny bit of sugar and presto! So many one liners on the caption game, that we couldn't even breathe enough in between to enjoy them all.
Laugher cures all stress, people. At times it's hard to find things to laugh at in life, but then I just go to my local Starbucks and people watch.
I'm off to eat another "snack bag" as it seems my metabolism has decided I need to eat every 2 hours or DIE. Good day.
All it took was looking at one photographer's portfolio and a tiny bit of sugar and presto! So many one liners on the caption game, that we couldn't even breathe enough in between to enjoy them all.
Laugher cures all stress, people. At times it's hard to find things to laugh at in life, but then I just go to my local Starbucks and people watch.
I'm off to eat another "snack bag" as it seems my metabolism has decided I need to eat every 2 hours or DIE. Good day.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Honest-ish
I think a lot of people confuse the words "honesty" and "truth" for the right to be brutal and downright hurtful without apparent boundaries.
Claiming to be "honest" doesn't mean you get to throw things into people's faces. It also doesn't give you a freebie ticket to be mean. Honesty is being open with people and not playing games. It's being able to reach people with trust because you don't convolute things.
Walking around with a self proclaimed "truth" badge doesn't at all mean you are an honest person. And while I'm on the subject, nobody should be able to call themselves "honest". Other people can claim you are honest, but anyone that says they are honest are usually lying right then and there. Because, in the words of Dr. Gregory House, "everybody lies". Even me. What I don't do is play games.
Claiming to be "honest" doesn't mean you get to throw things into people's faces. It also doesn't give you a freebie ticket to be mean. Honesty is being open with people and not playing games. It's being able to reach people with trust because you don't convolute things.
Walking around with a self proclaimed "truth" badge doesn't at all mean you are an honest person. And while I'm on the subject, nobody should be able to call themselves "honest". Other people can claim you are honest, but anyone that says they are honest are usually lying right then and there. Because, in the words of Dr. Gregory House, "everybody lies". Even me. What I don't do is play games.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Correction
For the past few days I've been hooked on this show called "Lockup: Raw". I've always been a fan of any discovery channel or history channel show and this was no exception. Tonight there was a particular prison they covered called the Maricopa Correctional Facility. The sheriff in charge of this prison is scrutinized for the way he runs it because he put the inmates in pink underwear, striped uniforms, puts everyone on a chain gang, provides only 3 channels of television, and implements a system called the "tent city" where inmates live outside on bunks under tents. His newest idea was to put a stationary bike that powers the television in the tent city which plays any channel the inmates choose. To power it, someone has to turn the pedals constantly. What a concept, work for something you want in jail!
I can't say that I sympathize with inmates from the get go nor do I feel like the sheriff has gone overboard. Inmates are complaining that these conditions aren't humane or that it's not fair to them. Last time I checked prison wasn't designed as a resort and spa where you go to relax and spend your time in peace and comfort to think about what you've done wrong. These assholes spend small time under these tents while soldiers that SIGN UP to put their lives on the line for their nation, live in very similar conditions in foreign countries! You don't have television? You get crappy food? You have to wear pink underwear and clean up highways on a chain gang? Tough fucking balls for you buddy. Maybe next time you'll think of that pink underwear before you steal a car, sell a drug, hurt an innocent life or drive drunk.
Crime isn't your ticket to solitude and a "time out", you act stupid you get treated as an idiot. When are people going to face the consequences of their own actions!?
Absolutely mind boggling. I want to shake that sheriff's hand and make him president!
I can't say that I sympathize with inmates from the get go nor do I feel like the sheriff has gone overboard. Inmates are complaining that these conditions aren't humane or that it's not fair to them. Last time I checked prison wasn't designed as a resort and spa where you go to relax and spend your time in peace and comfort to think about what you've done wrong. These assholes spend small time under these tents while soldiers that SIGN UP to put their lives on the line for their nation, live in very similar conditions in foreign countries! You don't have television? You get crappy food? You have to wear pink underwear and clean up highways on a chain gang? Tough fucking balls for you buddy. Maybe next time you'll think of that pink underwear before you steal a car, sell a drug, hurt an innocent life or drive drunk.
Crime isn't your ticket to solitude and a "time out", you act stupid you get treated as an idiot. When are people going to face the consequences of their own actions!?
Absolutely mind boggling. I want to shake that sheriff's hand and make him president!
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Productivity
Today I learned how to take apart a Honda engine, clean the heads, replace the valves and re-assemble everything...successfully, I may add. There's still a tiny leak. The search continues tomorrow. Once that's done it's on to doing a valve adjustment on the Acura. Maybe by the time I get my Cadillac back to Los Angeles, I'll be ready to fix that poor thing myself.
I always knew I liked working on cars, but today was especially fun. Thanks to my brother for being patient and answering every time I said "what's this thingy do??", "Where's this go??", and my favorite "Uh oh, I think I forgot to attach that hose."
Perfect rainy day. I wish it were like this every single day. Maybe it's time I break up with Los Angles too.
Thoroughly exhausted. Up since 5:30, b-shot hurt extra hard today cos of the cold weather, working with a bum arm didn't help...all in all, it's nice to be physically tired like this. Can't complain.
I always knew I liked working on cars, but today was especially fun. Thanks to my brother for being patient and answering every time I said "what's this thingy do??", "Where's this go??", and my favorite "Uh oh, I think I forgot to attach that hose."
Perfect rainy day. I wish it were like this every single day. Maybe it's time I break up with Los Angles too.
Thoroughly exhausted. Up since 5:30, b-shot hurt extra hard today cos of the cold weather, working with a bum arm didn't help...all in all, it's nice to be physically tired like this. Can't complain.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Grounded
Normally, on a night like tonight, I'd be starting trouble somewhere on the sunset strip. Instead, I spent half my day debating with myself whether or not this cough and irritating nasal congestion are bad enough to keep me indoors.
Indeed they are.
I'm pissed off that I'm home but in the end its better for me. Time for sleep.
Indeed they are.
I'm pissed off that I'm home but in the end its better for me. Time for sleep.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Tis the season
What is it that happens to people when they age? It seems that most people just get progressively dumber as they rack in those years. We start to over-think, rationalize stupidity, and lose all common sense. When we are kids we believe things that "seem" and FEEL right. As adults we go into a whirlwind of questions and doubts about the simplest decisions. Someone made such a brilliant point the other day: only adults get into a situation such as a credit card with 25% apr, knowingly. If you tell a kid you will give him candy but they will have to give you candy plus 25% on top of that back, they will look at you like you've lost your mind.
We have, indeed, lost our minds. Lost what matters most. Lost a sense of right. Lost our basics. We have to keep it simple. All the bullshit that surrounds us is made for distraction and complicating our lives. Rid yourself of the superficial and air becomes easier to breathe. If you can't afford to buy everyone in your family Christmas presents, don't get yourself in credit card debt, or neglect necessities just because your pride won't let you be honest with everyone and with yourself. Your honesty and humbleness is gift enough.
Just my two cents on de-stressing this holiday season.
Getting our little tree tomorrow. I'm happy to have my family and small circle of friends to share this holiday season.
We have, indeed, lost our minds. Lost what matters most. Lost a sense of right. Lost our basics. We have to keep it simple. All the bullshit that surrounds us is made for distraction and complicating our lives. Rid yourself of the superficial and air becomes easier to breathe. If you can't afford to buy everyone in your family Christmas presents, don't get yourself in credit card debt, or neglect necessities just because your pride won't let you be honest with everyone and with yourself. Your honesty and humbleness is gift enough.
Just my two cents on de-stressing this holiday season.
Getting our little tree tomorrow. I'm happy to have my family and small circle of friends to share this holiday season.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Hot on the radar: JetStream
Due to a schedule conflict, I couldn't make JetStream's show at the Cat Club, but I did have spies show me a a video or two.
Two things are certain about JetStream at the Cat Club:
1. The Cat Club either needs to expand their venue or turn down the amps just a notch...I'm pretty sure I ruptured an ear drum just watching the video.
2. JetStream has only gotten better since I saw them a year ago.
I have a hard time calling them "kids" simply because I think they rise heads above many "men" that are playing rockstar in their garage bands. These young MEN seem to have been born with their respective instruments in hands. I've never seen kids their age (and most adults) so comfortable playing guitar, or banging the hell out of the drums. Ben Zelico, the band's drummer is absolutely pulse stopping on drums. I know I've called a few drummers "Animal" but this kid....takes the cake! His solos never seize to amaze me and yet he never goes overboard! Cool headed and calm bass player, Kevin Grimmett, hails from a family of rock and has the support of fellow rock stars in the likes of Nikki Sixx. Not to be outdone, their lead singer/guitar player Garrette Zeile belts out covers that usually send chills down your spine because it sends you back to the original decade and you find yourself lost in the song all over again, only to wake up to a 16 year old singing!
I mean it when I say that these kids are a few levels above your regular group of barely teen bands. What's more impressive? They stay true to what they want. They refuse to succumb to the pressures of producers, managers and outside pressures to sound like anything but THEMSELVES.
Their stage presence can't be taught or practiced, and neither can their sound. I genuinely feel honored to have actually met them last year and see such pure talent blossom. I truly hope Los Angeles removes the smoke screens and starts booking REAL talent like this in bigger, better venues! (Sorry Cat Club, your atmosphere is awesome but you may want to look into hiring the sound guy from the Viper Room...although you are still better than the oh-so-famous Roxy Theatre.) Maybe we can see them at the Key Club on the main stage headlining in a few months??
For now, you can come cure your New Year's Eve hangover and catch them at their residency in Agoura Hills at the Canyon Club on New Year's Day. Doors open at 6pm, show starts at 7pm.
The Block returns
Ladies and gents, they are back with a show this Thursday in Hollywood.
Come join the festivities of Frankie and Tommy's Social Club at the Cat Club on Sunset. We are all using Christmas as an excuse to rock hard and party til we get thrown out for public nudity...at least I am. This place is hot and tiny, perfect for getting your ears molested by loud sounds of the newer, sexier industrial genre of Gina and her boys.
Cat Club
Thursday Dec 16th at 10:30pm
Be there.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
TVMA
I am me. I'm funny. I'm prone to jealousy. I'm selfless. I can be the biggest bitch. I'm caring and giving. I have a short fuse. I'm the furthest thing from passive. I snap at times. I have my opinions and sometimes give them out without being asked for one. I have pet peeves. I listen. I'm argumentative. I get hurt easily. Sometimes I interrupt because I am impatient. I blame hormones for some things that have nothing to do with it. I'm moody. I put every single soul ahead of my own. The smallest things make me happy. I'm a giant child at heart. I curse like a fucking sailor and probably put some sailors to shame. I'm brutally honest even in times where all you need is a white lie. I judge sometimes. And sometimes I'm wrong. I trust my instincts and sometimes they are wrong. I've never learned how to walk away. I am me, and there isn't a fuck wad more I can offer to anyone or to me.
If I have a hard time accepting all this, then I can't blame anyone else for failing to accept me for me.
Life is one giant jig saw puzzle with a million pieces spread all around. Finding pieces that fit to make the whole picture right, is damn near impossible. But sometimes, you get a few pieces that make a big chunk so clear....and sometimes, you jam pieces into places you are certain they fit into, when clearly they don't. I play by my own rules and shove pieces where I see fit. Maybe it's time to stop jamming.
I just want one tiny part of the puzzle to have SOME clarity. One little chunk to help me see the entire picture. Takes patience and OCD. I have one of those down. Let's hope the picture is pretty at least.
If I have a hard time accepting all this, then I can't blame anyone else for failing to accept me for me.
Life is one giant jig saw puzzle with a million pieces spread all around. Finding pieces that fit to make the whole picture right, is damn near impossible. But sometimes, you get a few pieces that make a big chunk so clear....and sometimes, you jam pieces into places you are certain they fit into, when clearly they don't. I play by my own rules and shove pieces where I see fit. Maybe it's time to stop jamming.
I just want one tiny part of the puzzle to have SOME clarity. One little chunk to help me see the entire picture. Takes patience and OCD. I have one of those down. Let's hope the picture is pretty at least.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Sold out
How is it that people who buy out all the tickets for small venue shows and then sell them for 400% profit, still alive and making a bunch of money??
Venues and promotors should really start monitoring this crap. I understand trying to make money however you can, but blatantly ripping people off by simply buying EVERYTHING before anyone else gets a chance is borderline criminal. Why not limit the amount of tickets one person can buy or make the tickets non-transferable??
No show at the Roxy is worth $75...not even a shirtless Dave Navarro.
Venues and promotors should really start monitoring this crap. I understand trying to make money however you can, but blatantly ripping people off by simply buying EVERYTHING before anyone else gets a chance is borderline criminal. Why not limit the amount of tickets one person can buy or make the tickets non-transferable??
No show at the Roxy is worth $75...not even a shirtless Dave Navarro.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Hot red velvety goodness
Sometimes driving to Malibu for a cup of hot chocolate seems like a better idea than it actually is. Mainly because Malibu sucks and everything closes at 6pm. No worries, thought. Santa Monica came to the rescue with ONE open Coffee Bean...hot chocolate at last.
And now it's sleep time.
All day I've been wondering why I'm so tired, and then it hit me (2 minutes ago): I've been up and doing crap since 6:30am until about...2 minutes ago.
Tired.
And now it's sleep time.
All day I've been wondering why I'm so tired, and then it hit me (2 minutes ago): I've been up and doing crap since 6:30am until about...2 minutes ago.
Tired.
Positivity
"If you don't like who you are, first change what you do."
I don't know who said this but it made me think the other day. I still don't think I fully understand it. I get the idea of maybe changing what you do for a living to change who you are. If you're stuck doing something you don't like doing or don't find fulfilling, it's amazing the change you'll see in yourself if you switch to something maybe less consuming and more fulfilling.
I just wonder if it's a catch22. Do you do things because of who you are or are you who you are because of the things you do??
I know one thing for sure, you are what you think. If you think you're useless, chances are even if you're not actually useless, you will start doing less and less and eventually become useless. People often underestimate the power of mind over matter. Try waking up for one week telling yourself that every day is going to be a great day and you are happy...you'll see what a difference you'll feel by the end of the week. This has been the only thing that saved me from complete depression many times. Because in the end it's not the destination that matters, it's how much you enjoy and appreciate the journey of life.
Now go, think positive. As dumb as it sounds, it works.
I don't know who said this but it made me think the other day. I still don't think I fully understand it. I get the idea of maybe changing what you do for a living to change who you are. If you're stuck doing something you don't like doing or don't find fulfilling, it's amazing the change you'll see in yourself if you switch to something maybe less consuming and more fulfilling.
I just wonder if it's a catch22. Do you do things because of who you are or are you who you are because of the things you do??
I know one thing for sure, you are what you think. If you think you're useless, chances are even if you're not actually useless, you will start doing less and less and eventually become useless. People often underestimate the power of mind over matter. Try waking up for one week telling yourself that every day is going to be a great day and you are happy...you'll see what a difference you'll feel by the end of the week. This has been the only thing that saved me from complete depression many times. Because in the end it's not the destination that matters, it's how much you enjoy and appreciate the journey of life.
Now go, think positive. As dumb as it sounds, it works.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Gina sans the Block
Minor change for the shows for the weekend:
The two kids for Friday's shows are staying the same, however I have been secretly informed that Gina's gig on Saturday is just Gina for a promo with a few dancers. No Eastern Boys. But we do get to see Gina in action, shakin her thang and that's all good with me!! Bring your girlfriend and/or your boyfriend and keep em close to your hip cos it's bound to get steamy up in that joint.
Saturday night in WeHo? Bring it!
The two kids for Friday's shows are staying the same, however I have been secretly informed that Gina's gig on Saturday is just Gina for a promo with a few dancers. No Eastern Boys. But we do get to see Gina in action, shakin her thang and that's all good with me!! Bring your girlfriend and/or your boyfriend and keep em close to your hip cos it's bound to get steamy up in that joint.
Saturday night in WeHo? Bring it!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
3 Shows not to miss!
Feeling like you need to get out more? Maybe you get out plenty but haven't seen a decent gig in a while? Well here are 3 shows you shouldn't miss this weekend. Do your ears a favor, grab some cash (trust me it'll still be cheaper than blowing a hundred at some Hollywood club/bar trying to hit on that chick at the bar who 1. Still won't know you exist 2. Probably doesn't even know SHE exists due to pure stupidity. 3. Probably really isn't real. She's either a hologram or is so pumped with Botox, she now winks with her lips.
I digress.
Go ahead. Try these, if you don't like them, something is wrong with your hearing or your sense of good music is broken. Either way, you lose out.
So here it is:
JetStream
Friday December 10th
7:30pm
@ the Cat Club on Sunset Blvd
This is a group of kids (ya, kids. 16 yos) that absolutely blew my mind a year ago when I saw them rock the Sagebrush Cantina for a charity event. If you're into Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Hendrix and every other kind of rock awesomeness, this cup of tea is for you. Their stage presence and their raw talent will leave your jaw on the floor. Sill untainted by the music industry, I'd catch them now before someone tries to push them into some direction they don't want to go in. They are on early and usually have a short but jam packed set, so come support them and then roam the streets of Hollywood.
Camp Freddy
Friday December 10th
10:30ish pm
@ The Roxy Theatre on Sunset Blvd
Maybe instead of wandering the streets of Hollywood after the JetStream show, you should walk (carefully) to the Roxy for some...um...well, you'll see.
If you haven't seen or heard of Camp Freddy then all I need to say is two words: shirtless Dave Navarro (ok that's three words..but technically Dave is a who not a what...) anyway, you get the idea.
I should probably also mention that it's a conglomeration of seeded musicians playing "jam session" and rocking out to what ever classic hit they feel like playing. Going to see these guys is like opening surprise Christmas presents from your rich uncle and aunt in Europe, you may not know what the hell is in each box but you're sure as hell gonna love it! Ladies, bring an extra pair of thongs if you're planning to stand anywhere near the stage..those ones you're wearing will be ruined one way or another by watching all kinds of sexiness playing musical instruments. Leave your dudes at home :)
Gina Katon and the Eastern Block
Saturday December 11th
11:00pm
@ The Eleven Club in West Hollywood
I actually got really excited when I heard she's doing a show again! After seeing her two weeks ago, I was crossing my fingers that it wouldn't take long to see this tiny package of hotness on stage again. Ever since I heard their set up, I've been singing "wiggle it" on a daily basis, trying not to break a hip by attempting the wiggle moves along with the singing. I've been known to hurt myself whilst giving sexiness a whirl.
They are brand spanking (mm spanking) new and leave people absolutely mesmerized after each song. If you're somehow broken in the sexual department and are immune to tight little packages of hotness, then at least your ears will get aroused. Raw sounds of brilliant drums of Marc Jordan (I'll keep his sexiness to a quiet hush, because I don't want to get beat up by Gina ;)), the grittiness of guitar magic of Todd Weinstock (or as I like to call him "babyface") is the most refreshing combination in music I've heard in quite some time! Todd's playing style can only be compared to the likes of Jimmy Page...a la "Whole Lotta Love". Together, they blend into a hot mess of amazigness. Their short sets will leave you begging for "JUST ONE MORE, please!!!"
So there they are. I'll be there. Will you?
I digress.
Go ahead. Try these, if you don't like them, something is wrong with your hearing or your sense of good music is broken. Either way, you lose out.
So here it is:
JetStream
Friday December 10th
7:30pm
@ the Cat Club on Sunset Blvd
This is a group of kids (ya, kids. 16 yos) that absolutely blew my mind a year ago when I saw them rock the Sagebrush Cantina for a charity event. If you're into Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Hendrix and every other kind of rock awesomeness, this cup of tea is for you. Their stage presence and their raw talent will leave your jaw on the floor. Sill untainted by the music industry, I'd catch them now before someone tries to push them into some direction they don't want to go in. They are on early and usually have a short but jam packed set, so come support them and then roam the streets of Hollywood.
Camp Freddy
Friday December 10th
10:30ish pm
@ The Roxy Theatre on Sunset Blvd
Maybe instead of wandering the streets of Hollywood after the JetStream show, you should walk (carefully) to the Roxy for some...um...well, you'll see.
If you haven't seen or heard of Camp Freddy then all I need to say is two words: shirtless Dave Navarro (ok that's three words..but technically Dave is a who not a what...) anyway, you get the idea.
I should probably also mention that it's a conglomeration of seeded musicians playing "jam session" and rocking out to what ever classic hit they feel like playing. Going to see these guys is like opening surprise Christmas presents from your rich uncle and aunt in Europe, you may not know what the hell is in each box but you're sure as hell gonna love it! Ladies, bring an extra pair of thongs if you're planning to stand anywhere near the stage..those ones you're wearing will be ruined one way or another by watching all kinds of sexiness playing musical instruments. Leave your dudes at home :)
Gina Katon and the Eastern Block
Saturday December 11th
11:00pm
@ The Eleven Club in West Hollywood
I actually got really excited when I heard she's doing a show again! After seeing her two weeks ago, I was crossing my fingers that it wouldn't take long to see this tiny package of hotness on stage again. Ever since I heard their set up, I've been singing "wiggle it" on a daily basis, trying not to break a hip by attempting the wiggle moves along with the singing. I've been known to hurt myself whilst giving sexiness a whirl.
They are brand spanking (mm spanking) new and leave people absolutely mesmerized after each song. If you're somehow broken in the sexual department and are immune to tight little packages of hotness, then at least your ears will get aroused. Raw sounds of brilliant drums of Marc Jordan (I'll keep his sexiness to a quiet hush, because I don't want to get beat up by Gina ;)), the grittiness of guitar magic of Todd Weinstock (or as I like to call him "babyface") is the most refreshing combination in music I've heard in quite some time! Todd's playing style can only be compared to the likes of Jimmy Page...a la "Whole Lotta Love". Together, they blend into a hot mess of amazigness. Their short sets will leave you begging for "JUST ONE MORE, please!!!"
So there they are. I'll be there. Will you?
Monday, December 6, 2010
Frustration
The Webster Dictionary definition of "frustration" is /b : a deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs.
When a person is placed in a situation in life that seems to spin in place and grind gears without any significant result, frustration arises. Massive frustration. One of the most frustrating things is not even realizing what those needs are, therefore leaving you without a clue where to begin to fulfill them. You're stuck with the feeling of insecurity based on needs you never knew existed.
I'm in this place right now. Stuck in a grind of stagnation. Wondering where to turn, what to do, what need to fulfill. I've lost myself. Lost what drives me. Lost my purpose in life.
Where before I would sit and think until my frustration turned to tears, today I decided to use frustration as my fuel to get shit done. Start anywhere. Complete a thought or an idea that will fulfill SOME unknown need.
I realize I've done things in the past few months to start a transformation to bring myself back to ME and it's a slow process. I'm one of the most impatient people I know, and the fact that it's a slow process compiles my frustration even further. Maybe this is the universe's way of teaching me patience. I respectfully accept your lessons and will do my best to take things one step at a time.
Tomorrows word: tenacity.
When a person is placed in a situation in life that seems to spin in place and grind gears without any significant result, frustration arises. Massive frustration. One of the most frustrating things is not even realizing what those needs are, therefore leaving you without a clue where to begin to fulfill them. You're stuck with the feeling of insecurity based on needs you never knew existed.
I'm in this place right now. Stuck in a grind of stagnation. Wondering where to turn, what to do, what need to fulfill. I've lost myself. Lost what drives me. Lost my purpose in life.
Where before I would sit and think until my frustration turned to tears, today I decided to use frustration as my fuel to get shit done. Start anywhere. Complete a thought or an idea that will fulfill SOME unknown need.
I realize I've done things in the past few months to start a transformation to bring myself back to ME and it's a slow process. I'm one of the most impatient people I know, and the fact that it's a slow process compiles my frustration even further. Maybe this is the universe's way of teaching me patience. I respectfully accept your lessons and will do my best to take things one step at a time.
Tomorrows word: tenacity.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
All I want for Christmas is...
For just ONE of the posters on Craigslist that are selling drum sets, to actually respond...or at least be real.
I understand times are tough and stealing emails and phone numbers for spam on Craigslist is an easy way to go, but for fucks sake, can't at least ONE of these people be real? The whole point of a community based trading and selling site is to offer things to one another, not to spam.
*sigh* I just wanna bang on things and make noise. Maybe I'll start with trash cans.
I understand times are tough and stealing emails and phone numbers for spam on Craigslist is an easy way to go, but for fucks sake, can't at least ONE of these people be real? The whole point of a community based trading and selling site is to offer things to one another, not to spam.
*sigh* I just wanna bang on things and make noise. Maybe I'll start with trash cans.
What's it called when you can't remember things?
I realized today, my memory is not quite the same as it used to be. I used to literally remember EVERYTHING thrown my way. Now, I see that the sponge is full. I need to either purge some old info or figure out how to start remembering new crap.
I woke up this morning (actually yesterday morning now) with such a great topic for a blog and I think I actually wrote it all out in my head...thinking I'll remember what it is later. Ya, no chance of that. I sat down to write tonight and after 20 minutes of looking at my screen decided it would be more fun to play a video game, or nap, or throw more things on the grill.
Needless to say, I still have no idea what it was. From now on, I'll write it down when I think of it so I don't end up hurting my brain later :)
I woke up this morning (actually yesterday morning now) with such a great topic for a blog and I think I actually wrote it all out in my head...thinking I'll remember what it is later. Ya, no chance of that. I sat down to write tonight and after 20 minutes of looking at my screen decided it would be more fun to play a video game, or nap, or throw more things on the grill.
Needless to say, I still have no idea what it was. From now on, I'll write it down when I think of it so I don't end up hurting my brain later :)
Friday, December 3, 2010
Bass Ackwards
Ever stop to think why people do things? What drives them? I know in general people have different motivations. I'm talking more about doing nice things. Do they do it out of honest kindness or just to satisfy some part of their own character.
I don't think I've met too many people that do nice things for others just because it's the right thing to do. They do it because in their mind it's almost a bragging right of "see, I did something nice!"
Donating, for example. When do people donate? Right before the tax year cut off. Why? Because they really want to get rid of that old washer and dryer that's been sitting in their garage for 3 years collecting dust and it could probably help a family in need? Or because it's a pretty good deduction on your taxes? Donate that old car to a foundation that fixes it and provides an automobile for huge families in need? Or get close to 2k written off? Bring an unwrapped toy to get a ticket inside a car show? How about you bring the toy AND you pay like you normally would. That same kid won't have a toy even if you don't like car shows.
How about this new trend of posting a cartoon character from your childhood as your profile picture for a week to somehow battle child abuse?? What exactly are we battling? And how? I'm all for support but wouldn't "battling" be more productive if we tried to fix our court systems to take kids away from abusive parents instead of forcing a "dual" parenting concept that didn't work in the first place? How is giving custody to a deadbeat dad (partial or just visitation rights) conducive to a well rounded "family"?? You really think seeing your spawn for 3 hours a week is considered a "parent" figure?
You are only prolonging the problem and quieting down your own guilt and conscious. How about instead of the court dates, you relinquish your rights as an asshole parent and give someone else a shot at being a parent for YOUR offspring?
My point is, people are selfish by nature and it's sad. It's sad that superficial gestures are considered as kindness and REAL kindness is taken for weakness.
Once again, ass backwards.
I don't think I've met too many people that do nice things for others just because it's the right thing to do. They do it because in their mind it's almost a bragging right of "see, I did something nice!"
Donating, for example. When do people donate? Right before the tax year cut off. Why? Because they really want to get rid of that old washer and dryer that's been sitting in their garage for 3 years collecting dust and it could probably help a family in need? Or because it's a pretty good deduction on your taxes? Donate that old car to a foundation that fixes it and provides an automobile for huge families in need? Or get close to 2k written off? Bring an unwrapped toy to get a ticket inside a car show? How about you bring the toy AND you pay like you normally would. That same kid won't have a toy even if you don't like car shows.
How about this new trend of posting a cartoon character from your childhood as your profile picture for a week to somehow battle child abuse?? What exactly are we battling? And how? I'm all for support but wouldn't "battling" be more productive if we tried to fix our court systems to take kids away from abusive parents instead of forcing a "dual" parenting concept that didn't work in the first place? How is giving custody to a deadbeat dad (partial or just visitation rights) conducive to a well rounded "family"?? You really think seeing your spawn for 3 hours a week is considered a "parent" figure?
You are only prolonging the problem and quieting down your own guilt and conscious. How about instead of the court dates, you relinquish your rights as an asshole parent and give someone else a shot at being a parent for YOUR offspring?
My point is, people are selfish by nature and it's sad. It's sad that superficial gestures are considered as kindness and REAL kindness is taken for weakness.
Once again, ass backwards.
Weapons of mass destruction
People who pronounce the word "nuclear" as "nukular" should be bleached out of the human gene pool. Suggestion: start with Bush...W. Bush.
That is all.
That is all.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Kanye's new fantasy
I had the misfortunate pleasure of listening to Kanye West's new album "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy", on the drive back from San Fran yesterday....
I'm not exactly sure where to begin. I'll start by saying that putting aside all his publicity stunts and hoopla, I absolutely loved his first album and his last album "808s". He had so much fight and passion on the first album. He had something to prove. He needed to breath through and he did so with astronomical success. The albums in-between fell short for me. It sounded like he was just riding the coat tails of his debut album and was simply "playing around" in the studio. The last album was the album released right after his mother's tragic death and it felt...REAL. It was emotion and a drum machine. That's it. I love every single song on that album.
This album....is didn't only fall short, it is absolute CRAP! Every single song is about sex, strippers, prostitutes, drugs and "partying". Not a single song has a decent beat to cover up some of the worst lyrical work I've heard in my entire life. It almost seems like since the death of his mother, he has lost all concoction to the real world and was only being "respectful" (as much as Kanye West could ever be respectful) for the sake of his mother's dignity. Now that she's gone, he's like a loose dog humping everything and chasing cats down the street.
The record (down to the cover) is absolutely disgusting. I wish I could actually RETURN the purchase. Deleting it doesn't seem like it will make it go away enough from my musical memory. I don't even want a refund. Just want to take away the "sales" marker on iTunes that will somehow accidentally put him ANYWHERE on the charts.
Someone please quickly break the boy's heart or something so he can get back to writing amazing lyrics and decent beats!
I'm not exactly sure where to begin. I'll start by saying that putting aside all his publicity stunts and hoopla, I absolutely loved his first album and his last album "808s". He had so much fight and passion on the first album. He had something to prove. He needed to breath through and he did so with astronomical success. The albums in-between fell short for me. It sounded like he was just riding the coat tails of his debut album and was simply "playing around" in the studio. The last album was the album released right after his mother's tragic death and it felt...REAL. It was emotion and a drum machine. That's it. I love every single song on that album.
This album....is didn't only fall short, it is absolute CRAP! Every single song is about sex, strippers, prostitutes, drugs and "partying". Not a single song has a decent beat to cover up some of the worst lyrical work I've heard in my entire life. It almost seems like since the death of his mother, he has lost all concoction to the real world and was only being "respectful" (as much as Kanye West could ever be respectful) for the sake of his mother's dignity. Now that she's gone, he's like a loose dog humping everything and chasing cats down the street.
The record (down to the cover) is absolutely disgusting. I wish I could actually RETURN the purchase. Deleting it doesn't seem like it will make it go away enough from my musical memory. I don't even want a refund. Just want to take away the "sales" marker on iTunes that will somehow accidentally put him ANYWHERE on the charts.
Someone please quickly break the boy's heart or something so he can get back to writing amazing lyrics and decent beats!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)