I'll start by saying that I'm having a rough day (trying to recover from a cold, lack of sleep, change in medication....all make for a hard and frustrating time) so writing this is somewhat of a task right now.
In the last few weeks I've been on a life high that's kept me from feeling any kind of negative way physically. Last week I proposed to my best friend and most favorite person in the world and she said yes and that energy alone will forever make my life better than I can ever ask for! We spent 10 days in Las Vegas at Rollercon and for the most part, I felt none of the crappy physical issues while there. We drove to Vegas from Portland and back, which felt great at the time, but proved to be an exhausting task hind's sight. 2500 miles is no joke!
Not too surprisingly, we both got sick during/after the trip. While the Rollercon plague seemed to catch several people who attended, most of them were sick for a handful of days and were able bounce back without any problems.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I'm on my second week of being sick and my body is being an asshole about it. I was able to finally sleep a whole night for the first time in 2 weeks last night, and only because I broke down and took melatonin. The sleep was great but the day after brain fog definitely is NOT. I have work and homework to complete and I feel actually stupid just sitting here looking at a screen, unable to focus on a single task. It's frustrating beyond words and makes me want to give up and just cry.
The best way to explain this feeling is imagine you're standing in front of your sink in the bathroom; you went there with the intention of brushing your teeth; you recognize all the steps it takes to brush your teeth, you've done this a million times before and yet you stand there staring blankly at the counter not knowing what you're supposed to do, and what steps to take to do it. You feel lost, frustrated and dumb.
That's me. Today. I know what I'm supposed to do. I know HOW to do those things but the connection isn't there today. That's cognitive fog. And I hate it. All I can do is function the best I can and hope that tomorrow is a better day.
Some updates on my treatment plan:
I've plateaued a little bit on the Pearls and it's time for the next step in treatment. Because of my complete inability to fall asleep at night, my doctor and I are making the decision to start me on a very very low dose of Low Dose Naltrexone. (I'll post more about it and its benefits for autoimmune diseases and Lyme later on when my brain is functioning a little better). For now, we are looking for it to help with my sleep issues and to help regulate my thyroid (which we are waiting to confirm is functioning at low levels). My doctor chose this time to start because I'm sick and can't seem to fight a simple cold because I'm not getting the quality rest due to the lack of sleep. I'm staying on the Lightning Pearls because they seem to be a gift from God for most of my other symptoms. The Lightning Pearls aren't fixing things for me, but they are helping me deal with the severity of major symptoms. Once my doctor feels that the LDN and Lightinf Pearls are working well together, I will start the Dragon Pearls which are designed to address a lot of the co-infections of Lyme in an aggressive manner.
We are also switching my b12 injections from the synthetic kind to the methylated kind because (surprise) my body doesn't process the synthetic kind as well as it needs to.
All in all, I'm keeping my spirits high because my life is perfect otherwise and I'm happy to be surrounded by so much love and care. One shitty foggy day won't drag me down.
I'm waiting for the pharmacy to call me and let me know that my LDN and new b12 injections are ready. The wait is probably the worst of it, as I have the patience of a 3 year old.
As always, loads of love and appreciation. I'll keep everyone posted on how things are going!
