Get in the caah.

I find myself laughing every time I walk the dog. Not because I have a hot dog wiener on a leash, but because I keep yelling at her to go potty and in my head it sounds like I'm from Boston asking her to go party. Go PAAHTTY!! She must agree because she still won't go when we are outside. Waits to come back in the house and poops on the training pad. /sigh can't win em all. At least it's not on the floor :)

Ode to the dego

I can't thank my lucky stars enough for shifting mountains and the entire universe to bring such an amazing soulmate into my life.

It's not that I'm incomplete without you, it's that I would be lost without you. You are the carbon opposite copy of me. Somehow everything you are I'm not and everything you aren't I am. This complex mix of opposites has proven to be the perfect blend of compatibility. You stole my heart just like you steal my pillows at night: swiftly and unnoticeably from right under me. 

You may keep them both, but if you dare drop one of them, I promise you I'll kill you first ;)

 

Anniversary

I've been so caught up in writing something fun about my life every day that I completely missed the fact that it's been just over a year since I started this blog. 

What was a mission to write 365 straight days has turned into 374 (somehow) and also has proven to be a tiny journey through my life, in bits and pieces of some heavy but mostly funny and silly things. 

I went back and read the beginning posts and remembered the place I was in mentally emotionally and physically when I started writing. 

I was broken. 

At my absolute best I was still in the worst possible place in every aspect except being taken care of by my family. I had no desire to live life and to keep fighting what felt like a pointless and endless battle. 

It's incredible to me what a year of pushing your limits can do. Even in my worst days where I woke up crying and exhausted, I didn't give up or surrender. I may have lost a good number of days to the anxiety but in the end I kept on the fight for the next day. 

I'm happy now. I broke through my own weaknesses and pushed beyond my life long habits. I took chances and made huge decisions. I took leaps head first without a single thing protecting me from crashing and burning. 

In 29 years, I finally put myself first. And it feels amazing. Because I know that by doing so I'm not abandoning anyone. I'm still the same loving, caring, helpful person I was before, just a lot stronger as a person because I allow myself to be strong for myself first. 

I'm thankful for the people in my life right now. Every single one of them plays an intricate role in the way my life has come to be: happy. 

9/11....what else?

At the risk of getting my ass kicked and being called a bad American, I will throw out my two cents about 9/11. 

First and foremost I can't believe it's been 10 years. I'm more saddened by this fact because time seems to be flying at lightning speed and things are passing us by so quickly and yet we are still in the same spot we were 10 years ago. 

I can't comment on WHY the terrorist attacks happened without sounding like I support terrorist attacks. All I'll say is, this nation needs to take a long hard look at itself when every other country seems to despise Americans and our actions. We definitely dabble in some business we have absolutely no right to dabble in...or perhaps we should just stay out of it. Just because we CAN put on a war, doesn't mean we SHOULD. 

I've openly expressed my disagreement on this war, that 10 years later, has solved absolutely nothing. It has murdered hundreds of thousands of soldiers that aren't fighting for OUR freedom, but the "freedom" of a nation that doesn't want help or change. 

I have a completely different strategy in solving terrorist attacks but it's neither popular nor should be discussed in public. You don't go trying to figure out what's wrong (and how to fix) the kid that comes and stomps your sand castle, you beat the living crap out of him and his little cronies. I'm just saying. 

All that said, 9/11 was tragic no doubt. Thousands of innocent people died for absolutely nothing. They died trying to save others that probably pushed someone out of their way just to save themselves. Just like any other tragic event, I feel a lot of Americans have an almost insincere amount of feeling of sadness and patriotism on days like today. I feel for the families of the people who died, but I also feel anger towards the entire event. It shouldn't have happened. It should have been prevented.

I'm no politician or a person of power or even a person in some sort of defense agency, therefore I cannot give advice on HOW it should have been prevented. But one would think the millions and billions we spend on supporting those people in power, they would do their best at keeping all eyes and ears open for potential threats. Which apparently came numerous times prior to the attacks. 

I could really write a novel on this topic, but I won't. I hate politics and I'm allergic to designated days of "remembrance" and half assed attempts at trying to smooth things out with the public...BY the public.

You're right, we will never forget. Some won't forget the sensationalist stories. Others won't forget what they think they saw. I won't forget the tears of absolute fear in the eyes of my mentor when he couldn't get ahold of his daughter who lived blocks away from ground zero. She was ok, but thousands of others weren't so lucky.

No amount of commercials, stickers on cars and status updates on Facebook will ever bring back some boy's firefighter father whom he never got the chance to meet because he was 3 months old when his father risked his life. Or the families that keep losing their children, fathers, mothers, and siblings to a war that will never end. 

It doesn't seem like it, but I sincerely hope this event taught this nation a heavy lesson. 

Let's try not to forget by bringing our bravest citizens home instead of perpetuating our losses. 

Let it flow

I've been suffering from sinus issues from as long as I can remember.

Between allergies, constant congestion, and post nasal drip from always having an irritated and swollen nasal cavity, I have finally decided to give that stupid Nettie Pot a shot.

If you've ever gotten swept away by an ocean wave three times your size and gotten a face full of salt water shoved into every crevice....then you know exactly what this thing feels like.

I've heard the "oh you'll feel a little bit like you're drowning at first, but then you'll get the hang of it" warning numerous times before.

 NOTHING about drowning is something I want to get the "hang" of! And I did feel like I was drowning...in the smallest creek known to mankind....passing through my nasal cavity with lukewarm salty water.

I think I swallowed half of it, which can't possibly be good.

After all is said and done, I have to admit I feel a million times better.

I blew my nose for 20 minutes straight with massive amounts of water (yes, water) dripping out of my nose like a broken faucet, then took the hottest possible shower and let the rest of the congestion drip out. I felt things empty from my ears into my nasal cavity and out the nose.

It's really quite an interesting little piece of equipment.

I'm laying down on my back typing this and for the first time in my life, I don't feel like I'm being drowned by my post nasal drip.

Best $14 spent so far.

if you have any kind of congestion issues, I highly suggest drowning for a few minutes with this little betty. You'll thank yourself later....after mouth to mouth resuscitation.

Is that your ass or is your mama half ranger

I find it mildly amusing that after having a 20 minute conversation with the GF about how we just don't feel like going to the gym every day anymore and that we can really use the time off and relax for a month and not worry about religiously making it there every day.....the very NEXT day we both look at each other and say "I really want to go to the gym tonight!"

Guess the pressure of knowing we HAVE to go, was exactly what was putting us off about going.

She's decided to train me....and by train me I mean kill me.

Once upon a few months ago, I complained how my family is genetically predisposed for the noassatall disease, and how I want to grow an actual ass at some point in my life...so today she decided to put me on a game plan to grow me an ass.

It consisted of a lot of squats (with a shit ton of weight), leg presses, calf lifts, back extensions (to support my future ass), and double the amount of me cursing and complaining.

I can't feel my toes or my ass for that matter, but I'm sure tomorrow will bring lots more pain.

Let there be daaaaahkness

Seeing as how half of the west coast suffered (and I do mean SUFFERED) a blackout for a few hours tonight, I'd like to say that I welcome blackouts and brownouts...power outages of any sort.

We are so stocked up on candles we could probably put a small cathedral to shame.

We probably wouldn't even mind having to cook everything in the fridge on the grill....you know, to "save" it from going bad.

So next time there's an outage, come to our house.

Watching me get my ass beat in "wrestling" will be the chosen form of entertainment for the evening.

Pay it forward

I've often heard people saying this but I don't think a lot of people actually mean it.

I really feel that a lot of times people only do nice things for others to either gain recognition for it or to somehow get something in return.

There are very few people I know that actually do things for others and just let the good deed fly without hopes that it will somehow come back to them.

The idea of paying it forward never really even crossed my mind until a good friend of mine had to shut me up and tell me that sometimes people just want to do nice things for you and all you have to do is take it, say thank you and when you have the chance, pay it forward and do something nice for someone else (or even that same person).

Apparently, refusing help and nice deeds isn't the way to go when someone offers you help.

I've always been independent and never knew how to even approach accepting something from someone. I've always felt obligated in some way in return.

Funny enough, just getting that point across to me helped me get some things sorted out in my life. Perhaps that was his way of helping me.

I'll do my best to pay it forward.

Beromter joints

Absolutely nothing against a little thunderstorm here and there, but holy joint pain, Batman.

Either I'm getting that old, or the barometric pressure keeps jumping like a maniac causing all sorts of havoc on my wrists and surgery knee.

Now if only I could predict lottery numbers with this thing.

P.S. I totally stood outside with my head tilted to the sky, collecting raindrops on my tongue. www.ima10yearoldatheart.com

Rainbow Six

Oh dear god....why have people been hiding this game from us for so long??

I had my parents ship over my PS2 and today we went to Game Stop and spent a whopping $26 on 5 games.

After playing True Crime: Streets of LA for 4 hours we decided to end the night with giving Rainbow Six 3 a shot.

Aside from the fact that we take this game WAY too seriously and actually get racing hearts when entering a room full of "terrorists", this game is PERFECT.

I'm thinking we will need to somehow rig the PS2 to shut off after a certain amount of hours of play time, because we will end up doing nothing but sitting in front of the TV, playing this and eating all the M&Ms.

Shut up before I take you to the dungeon

It was brought to my attention that our place is supper dark (as in lighting) and feels disconnected from the outside world.

Mission accomplished.

With blackout curtains and opposing walls painted a dark gray accented with dim floor lamps....we have created a dungeon-like environment that is absolutely perfect.

It's hard to leave this place once you've snuggled into one of many fleece blankets with the lights turned low (if at all) and candles going in every room.

All we need now are some posters of D&G and possibly some chains and stuff to hang on the walls.

I'm looking into it...

This house is CLEAAAAN

So.....ever since we moved into this place, the guest bathroom has always felt a little creepy to me (and apparently everybody else).

It's HUGE and has enough power outlets to double as the second Las Vegas strip.

Anyway, so today my BFF suggested I get some sage and cleanse the house.

I've never really been much of a believer in this stuff, but I do enjoy burning crap and I sure could do without getting the heebie jeebies every time I walk into that ballroom.

Off to the mystic rivers of wonderland store we went and grabbed me a dried sage roll infused with some lavender (to at least relax the creepy energy).

I just lit this thing and did what I was told (walk around each room and guide the bad energies out and let good energies in). I felt as though I was walking around with a giant blunt in my hand but...who's really judging at this point.

Aside from the entire house now smelling like the aftermath of a good ol Malibu fire, it went well.

My blunt went out 4 times when I went into that creepy bathroom, which I am told is a sign I wasn't hallucinating and this does in fact mean there was some bad juju in there that needed to be ushered out. (not like the "Yeah!" Usher Raymond kind)

After 20 minuted of spreading smoke around the house and an additional 10 of opening the windows and letting the smoke clear out the bad juju this house is now CLEAAAAAANNN.

And so is that bathroom.

I can actually go in there and take (or leave) a pee and not run out with toilet paper hanging out of my pants because I'm scared to be in there alone.

Good money spent.

If you have the jeebies in any part of your room, I highly suggest this. If not for nothing, you'll have an awesome lavender after burn.

BFFFs

Sometimes having your best fucking friend (forever) come hang out with you for a few days is the best thing ever.

We did what we always do together: bitch about how hot it is, cook, clean and laugh until we laughed and farted....oh and naps. Those are the best with BFFFS.

You are the cheese to my stupid mac, Lena.

Now, pack your crap and your skinny model dog, and move here please?

Kthnxbai.

David vs. Goliath

What started off as an innocent and playful nudge to the ribs turned into a full on wrestling match with a person that is trained in Muay Thai fighting.

Perhaps not the smartest move on my behalf. But man was it fun!!

Especially because nobody ended up missing teeth or with a bloody nose :)

I think I lost 10lbs in sweat, 5 in laughter and gained about 20 years of life.

Good times Ashwipe. You win this time.

Upon further review, three total bruises were found on legs and knees. Still a win.