Anniversary

I've been so caught up in writing something fun about my life every day that I completely missed the fact that it's been just over a year since I started this blog. 

What was a mission to write 365 straight days has turned into 374 (somehow) and also has proven to be a tiny journey through my life, in bits and pieces of some heavy but mostly funny and silly things. 

I went back and read the beginning posts and remembered the place I was in mentally emotionally and physically when I started writing. 

I was broken. 

At my absolute best I was still in the worst possible place in every aspect except being taken care of by my family. I had no desire to live life and to keep fighting what felt like a pointless and endless battle. 

It's incredible to me what a year of pushing your limits can do. Even in my worst days where I woke up crying and exhausted, I didn't give up or surrender. I may have lost a good number of days to the anxiety but in the end I kept on the fight for the next day. 

I'm happy now. I broke through my own weaknesses and pushed beyond my life long habits. I took chances and made huge decisions. I took leaps head first without a single thing protecting me from crashing and burning. 

In 29 years, I finally put myself first. And it feels amazing. Because I know that by doing so I'm not abandoning anyone. I'm still the same loving, caring, helpful person I was before, just a lot stronger as a person because I allow myself to be strong for myself first. 

I'm thankful for the people in my life right now. Every single one of them plays an intricate role in the way my life has come to be: happy.