A note

And all this time I thought I would be crushed....as it turns out, all that's happened is the chains and shackles have been broken. And for this, I thank you. For it is he who learns that, in the end, is free. 

Let it burn.

Most of us, the lucky ones, have had our hearts broken at some point in time. I say lucky because it means you've allowed yourself to feel love in one form or another. You've taken down walls of defense and given your heart to someone in its entire vulnerable state. Heart break is only a minor side effect of love, if you think about it. Not everyone gets to fall so deeply in love that they allow potential pain. I, for one, would truly rather have loved, lost and been hurt, than never to have experienced that true feeling of love.

I have to clarify what I mean when I say the "feeling of love". It isn't the feeling of BEING loved, or having someone love you. It's the feeling of LOVE itself. It's when I love someone unconditionally. I do things for them, I think of them, consider them, and cherish them because I feel love. It's a complicated thing for others to comprehend a lot of times. Love, compassion, nurturing, are all things that fuel who I am. The acts of love that I show, in turn fuel more love, care and compassion. It's what makes me who I am. It's what makes me happy.

This being said, I have to mention that in recent times I've seen a lot of people going through heart break from someone that betrayed them or left them broken. To which I have to say, you're very well allowed to feel sad and hurt and defeated, however, blaming and throwing spears at the other person will never get you to a better place.

In today's social media driven society, it's easy to hide behind a screen and throw out what seem to be supremely meaningful blurbs on Facebook and inspirational quotes on Instagram. All done in hopes that the person that has caused you hurt will somehow see it, hear of it and will magically get hit with reality of how much they have wronged you and now need to crawl on hands and knees for forgiveness.

I hate to be the one to disappoint you, but even if they did care enough to see your posts, it is highly unlikely they will suddenly change who they are and somehow see a fresh new light.

Things happen for a reason. As cliche as that may be, it is the truth. And I don't mean that in a way of predestined future. I mean that things happen due to cause and affect. People become unfaithful in a relationship because they stop caring or they simply stop pretending to care enough to not betray. When someone is unfaithful in a relationship, that relationship was never whole to begin with. Successful, healthy and stable relationships without betrayal and unfaithful acts, are built of different resources and are held together by the glue of two people who are truly in love and have the best of all intentions toward the other person. You can't force that. You can't fake that. And you certainly can't learn that. It just exists.

So if you got your heart broken by someone who has somehow left your life, chances are, it wasn't very stable to begin with. Please don't betray yourself by thinking you can somehow guilt, convince, or force the other person to finally see how valuable and irreplaceable you are. Realize the fact that although they may have seemed irreplaceable to you, you never were to them. Because if someone sees you as irreplaceable and valuable, they will never betray you or leave you heart broken.

It's a hard thing to realize, but once you do, you can simply accept the fact that this was something that just wasn't meant to be. Sure it hurts, but if you step back and see it for what it was, the pain dissipates and you are able to take away the real lessons you were meant to learn.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, instead of posting nonsense in hopes of catching their attention, fix yourself. Be good to yourself, like everyone deserves to be. Let the other person be themselves. If in the end their biggest mistake was, in fact, hurting you and leaving your life, then that is the lesson they were meant to learn.

You are nobody's teacher but your own.

There isn't a single person that will "see the light" if you shove their face into a light bulb. The proverbial light has always been on, let them open the door to the room if they choose to, otherwise just let it burn and move on.



...as always....I'm just sayin....

The truth about truth and honesty.

If you stick to the truth consistently and sincerely, the sense of guilt will not gnaw your heart and cause pain. The easiest habit is speaking the truth and being honest. For, if you start telling lies, you will have to keep count of them and remember how many you have told to whom and be always alert to not contradict one lie with another! Also be aware that it is cowardice that makes you hide the truth. It is hatred that sharpens the edge of falsehood. Be bold and there is no need for a lie. Be full of love and there is no need for duplicity, tricks and ploys. Finally, the most important truth is, if you love a person, then you will automatically feel that they deserve the truth and nothing less than the truth.

- Divine Discourse, Apr 3, 1958

Lessons Learned

Perhaps one of the hardest lessons to ever learn in life is that people, as a whole, rarely change.

Sure we grow and do things differently and learn to go about situations in different ways that may benefit us more, but generally what you do innately is who you are and how you will be your entire life.

Personally, I've wasted entirely too much time in my life hoping to see people change to what I think they are capable of or to their "full potential". What I've learned is that sometimes what I feel they are capable of is entirely too far out of reach for them. Sometimes what people show you IS their full potential, and you are nobody to expect anything more.

The key to all of this is learning when to let go and realize your own potential and when those people hold you back from reaching your best.

As always, we live and learn.

EmotionShip

As humans, we are physically incapable of feeling two emotions at the same time. It is therefore, also impossible to feel a single emotion for ever.

Our lives and moods and feelings are a fluid series of emotions that flow from one to another seamlessly. Each emotion travels with a posse that it drags along with it. Negative emotions like anger create chaos, pain and hurt. Positive emotions like love create peace, happiness and a sense of well being. Each emotion gains inertia as it perpetuates positivity or negativity in your entire being.

You are the captain of the ship that is your mind. You dictate which emotion gets to take residence inside you and perpetuate your mood. You get to decide which emotion gets a flash of existence and dies out as soon as you refuse to let it rule you.

For every moment in your life you have a choice. For every action you have a choice in your REaction. Dark or light. Good or bad. Positive or negative. You decide.

Guide your life, your mood and your emotions and you will find yourself smiling more often.

Intentions

I'm no expert at this thing called life, but I do believe I've mastered some aspects of it to where I can comment on it and feel I can back my opinions with valid points if someone chooses to argue theirs.

That being said, I also think there's probably some very inspirational quote about this on the internet that is placed on some very emotion evoking picture, so I do have backup!

People go through life forgetting that everything they have comes from the efforts they put out to the world and into those things happening. Good and bad, pretty and ugly.

Everything you look for in life you will find.

If you look for good, you will find good. If you look for trouble, trouble will be at your doorstep. Unfortunately, life also  has a sense of humor. The ugly and the bad have a way to be easily attained and you really don't have to look for it all that hard to get a nice heaping pile delivered to your door. Probably because nobody really wants that crap in large amounts, so the universe is in full abundance of it. Free to go to whoever welcomes it.

The good is always harder to attain and sometimes takes a lot of effort to find. Like that last stubborn egg on an egg hunt. There are those that give up looking for it because who really knows what's in there and the chance that it may be a small reward is simply not worth it. But there are others that will search for it until their feet are tired, and their eyes can no longer focus.

One thing that is for sure, nothing disappears into thin air. If it is real, it is there, and unless someone finds it and takes it before you, you WILL find it. Good and bad.

Which brings me to my last point, if you're not determined to find it and someone else places higher value on whatever it is you are looking for...you'll be left empty handed while someone else enjoys the rewards.

If you're a thinker, like me, this concept simply gives a lot of food for thought.

So next time you come up on something good in your life, pat yourself on the back and appreciate it, because you have put enough value on it that you kept looking for it until you got it. And next time you stumble into a pile of crap, realize that everyone else has navigated around that pile while you went out and found exactly what you intended. Be mindful of the things you want, and focus on the things you want or chances are, you will wind up with all the things everyone else avoided.