Soapbox

Soapbox:

You know, it absolutely baffles me that people think gays are asking for something above and beyond what is naturally expected of humans. 

I'm not an activist by any means nor do I go around bashing people for their beliefs or religious views or sexual orientations. I honestly could care less of either of those choices by any other human. 

All I ask is the same in return. 

We aren't asking for handouts or special treatment or for anyone else to be proud and approve of our lifestyles. Because frankly, you are entitled to your opinion just as much as I am. Maybe the thought of divorce and frivolous marriages turns my stomach just as much as two gay men or women kissing turns yours. Thats not what's up for discussion here, however. 

All gay people want, is the same treatment as straight people. 

Period. 

Close your eyes when you approve the marriage license...it's that simple. If you have zero problem signing a marriage license between two straight people which you KNOW will call it quits in less than 6 months (if that) then you shouldn't have a problem signing a marriage license between ANY other two people, be it gay or straight. 

The sanctity of marriage is dependent on it's longevity and commitment, not the kind of "equipment" two people bring to it.

Get in the caah.

I find myself laughing every time I walk the dog. Not because I have a hot dog wiener on a leash, but because I keep yelling at her to go potty and in my head it sounds like I'm from Boston asking her to go party. Go PAAHTTY!! She must agree because she still won't go when we are outside. Waits to come back in the house and poops on the training pad. /sigh can't win em all. At least it's not on the floor :)

Ode to the dego

I can't thank my lucky stars enough for shifting mountains and the entire universe to bring such an amazing soulmate into my life.

It's not that I'm incomplete without you, it's that I would be lost without you. You are the carbon opposite copy of me. Somehow everything you are I'm not and everything you aren't I am. This complex mix of opposites has proven to be the perfect blend of compatibility. You stole my heart just like you steal my pillows at night: swiftly and unnoticeably from right under me. 

You may keep them both, but if you dare drop one of them, I promise you I'll kill you first ;)

 

Anniversary

I've been so caught up in writing something fun about my life every day that I completely missed the fact that it's been just over a year since I started this blog. 

What was a mission to write 365 straight days has turned into 374 (somehow) and also has proven to be a tiny journey through my life, in bits and pieces of some heavy but mostly funny and silly things. 

I went back and read the beginning posts and remembered the place I was in mentally emotionally and physically when I started writing. 

I was broken. 

At my absolute best I was still in the worst possible place in every aspect except being taken care of by my family. I had no desire to live life and to keep fighting what felt like a pointless and endless battle. 

It's incredible to me what a year of pushing your limits can do. Even in my worst days where I woke up crying and exhausted, I didn't give up or surrender. I may have lost a good number of days to the anxiety but in the end I kept on the fight for the next day. 

I'm happy now. I broke through my own weaknesses and pushed beyond my life long habits. I took chances and made huge decisions. I took leaps head first without a single thing protecting me from crashing and burning. 

In 29 years, I finally put myself first. And it feels amazing. Because I know that by doing so I'm not abandoning anyone. I'm still the same loving, caring, helpful person I was before, just a lot stronger as a person because I allow myself to be strong for myself first. 

I'm thankful for the people in my life right now. Every single one of them plays an intricate role in the way my life has come to be: happy. 

9/11....what else?

At the risk of getting my ass kicked and being called a bad American, I will throw out my two cents about 9/11. 

First and foremost I can't believe it's been 10 years. I'm more saddened by this fact because time seems to be flying at lightning speed and things are passing us by so quickly and yet we are still in the same spot we were 10 years ago. 

I can't comment on WHY the terrorist attacks happened without sounding like I support terrorist attacks. All I'll say is, this nation needs to take a long hard look at itself when every other country seems to despise Americans and our actions. We definitely dabble in some business we have absolutely no right to dabble in...or perhaps we should just stay out of it. Just because we CAN put on a war, doesn't mean we SHOULD. 

I've openly expressed my disagreement on this war, that 10 years later, has solved absolutely nothing. It has murdered hundreds of thousands of soldiers that aren't fighting for OUR freedom, but the "freedom" of a nation that doesn't want help or change. 

I have a completely different strategy in solving terrorist attacks but it's neither popular nor should be discussed in public. You don't go trying to figure out what's wrong (and how to fix) the kid that comes and stomps your sand castle, you beat the living crap out of him and his little cronies. I'm just saying. 

All that said, 9/11 was tragic no doubt. Thousands of innocent people died for absolutely nothing. They died trying to save others that probably pushed someone out of their way just to save themselves. Just like any other tragic event, I feel a lot of Americans have an almost insincere amount of feeling of sadness and patriotism on days like today. I feel for the families of the people who died, but I also feel anger towards the entire event. It shouldn't have happened. It should have been prevented.

I'm no politician or a person of power or even a person in some sort of defense agency, therefore I cannot give advice on HOW it should have been prevented. But one would think the millions and billions we spend on supporting those people in power, they would do their best at keeping all eyes and ears open for potential threats. Which apparently came numerous times prior to the attacks. 

I could really write a novel on this topic, but I won't. I hate politics and I'm allergic to designated days of "remembrance" and half assed attempts at trying to smooth things out with the public...BY the public.

You're right, we will never forget. Some won't forget the sensationalist stories. Others won't forget what they think they saw. I won't forget the tears of absolute fear in the eyes of my mentor when he couldn't get ahold of his daughter who lived blocks away from ground zero. She was ok, but thousands of others weren't so lucky.

No amount of commercials, stickers on cars and status updates on Facebook will ever bring back some boy's firefighter father whom he never got the chance to meet because he was 3 months old when his father risked his life. Or the families that keep losing their children, fathers, mothers, and siblings to a war that will never end. 

It doesn't seem like it, but I sincerely hope this event taught this nation a heavy lesson. 

Let's try not to forget by bringing our bravest citizens home instead of perpetuating our losses. 

Let it flow

I've been suffering from sinus issues from as long as I can remember.

Between allergies, constant congestion, and post nasal drip from always having an irritated and swollen nasal cavity, I have finally decided to give that stupid Nettie Pot a shot.

If you've ever gotten swept away by an ocean wave three times your size and gotten a face full of salt water shoved into every crevice....then you know exactly what this thing feels like.

I've heard the "oh you'll feel a little bit like you're drowning at first, but then you'll get the hang of it" warning numerous times before.

 NOTHING about drowning is something I want to get the "hang" of! And I did feel like I was drowning...in the smallest creek known to mankind....passing through my nasal cavity with lukewarm salty water.

I think I swallowed half of it, which can't possibly be good.

After all is said and done, I have to admit I feel a million times better.

I blew my nose for 20 minutes straight with massive amounts of water (yes, water) dripping out of my nose like a broken faucet, then took the hottest possible shower and let the rest of the congestion drip out. I felt things empty from my ears into my nasal cavity and out the nose.

It's really quite an interesting little piece of equipment.

I'm laying down on my back typing this and for the first time in my life, I don't feel like I'm being drowned by my post nasal drip.

Best $14 spent so far.

if you have any kind of congestion issues, I highly suggest drowning for a few minutes with this little betty. You'll thank yourself later....after mouth to mouth resuscitation.

Is that your ass or is your mama half ranger

I find it mildly amusing that after having a 20 minute conversation with the GF about how we just don't feel like going to the gym every day anymore and that we can really use the time off and relax for a month and not worry about religiously making it there every day.....the very NEXT day we both look at each other and say "I really want to go to the gym tonight!"

Guess the pressure of knowing we HAVE to go, was exactly what was putting us off about going.

She's decided to train me....and by train me I mean kill me.

Once upon a few months ago, I complained how my family is genetically predisposed for the noassatall disease, and how I want to grow an actual ass at some point in my life...so today she decided to put me on a game plan to grow me an ass.

It consisted of a lot of squats (with a shit ton of weight), leg presses, calf lifts, back extensions (to support my future ass), and double the amount of me cursing and complaining.

I can't feel my toes or my ass for that matter, but I'm sure tomorrow will bring lots more pain.

Let there be daaaaahkness

Seeing as how half of the west coast suffered (and I do mean SUFFERED) a blackout for a few hours tonight, I'd like to say that I welcome blackouts and brownouts...power outages of any sort.

We are so stocked up on candles we could probably put a small cathedral to shame.

We probably wouldn't even mind having to cook everything in the fridge on the grill....you know, to "save" it from going bad.

So next time there's an outage, come to our house.

Watching me get my ass beat in "wrestling" will be the chosen form of entertainment for the evening.

Pay it forward

I've often heard people saying this but I don't think a lot of people actually mean it.

I really feel that a lot of times people only do nice things for others to either gain recognition for it or to somehow get something in return.

There are very few people I know that actually do things for others and just let the good deed fly without hopes that it will somehow come back to them.

The idea of paying it forward never really even crossed my mind until a good friend of mine had to shut me up and tell me that sometimes people just want to do nice things for you and all you have to do is take it, say thank you and when you have the chance, pay it forward and do something nice for someone else (or even that same person).

Apparently, refusing help and nice deeds isn't the way to go when someone offers you help.

I've always been independent and never knew how to even approach accepting something from someone. I've always felt obligated in some way in return.

Funny enough, just getting that point across to me helped me get some things sorted out in my life. Perhaps that was his way of helping me.

I'll do my best to pay it forward.

Beromter joints

Absolutely nothing against a little thunderstorm here and there, but holy joint pain, Batman.

Either I'm getting that old, or the barometric pressure keeps jumping like a maniac causing all sorts of havoc on my wrists and surgery knee.

Now if only I could predict lottery numbers with this thing.

P.S. I totally stood outside with my head tilted to the sky, collecting raindrops on my tongue. www.ima10yearoldatheart.com

Rainbow Six

Oh dear god....why have people been hiding this game from us for so long??

I had my parents ship over my PS2 and today we went to Game Stop and spent a whopping $26 on 5 games.

After playing True Crime: Streets of LA for 4 hours we decided to end the night with giving Rainbow Six 3 a shot.

Aside from the fact that we take this game WAY too seriously and actually get racing hearts when entering a room full of "terrorists", this game is PERFECT.

I'm thinking we will need to somehow rig the PS2 to shut off after a certain amount of hours of play time, because we will end up doing nothing but sitting in front of the TV, playing this and eating all the M&Ms.

Shut up before I take you to the dungeon

It was brought to my attention that our place is supper dark (as in lighting) and feels disconnected from the outside world.

Mission accomplished.

With blackout curtains and opposing walls painted a dark gray accented with dim floor lamps....we have created a dungeon-like environment that is absolutely perfect.

It's hard to leave this place once you've snuggled into one of many fleece blankets with the lights turned low (if at all) and candles going in every room.

All we need now are some posters of D&G and possibly some chains and stuff to hang on the walls.

I'm looking into it...

This house is CLEAAAAN

So.....ever since we moved into this place, the guest bathroom has always felt a little creepy to me (and apparently everybody else).

It's HUGE and has enough power outlets to double as the second Las Vegas strip.

Anyway, so today my BFF suggested I get some sage and cleanse the house.

I've never really been much of a believer in this stuff, but I do enjoy burning crap and I sure could do without getting the heebie jeebies every time I walk into that ballroom.

Off to the mystic rivers of wonderland store we went and grabbed me a dried sage roll infused with some lavender (to at least relax the creepy energy).

I just lit this thing and did what I was told (walk around each room and guide the bad energies out and let good energies in). I felt as though I was walking around with a giant blunt in my hand but...who's really judging at this point.

Aside from the entire house now smelling like the aftermath of a good ol Malibu fire, it went well.

My blunt went out 4 times when I went into that creepy bathroom, which I am told is a sign I wasn't hallucinating and this does in fact mean there was some bad juju in there that needed to be ushered out. (not like the "Yeah!" Usher Raymond kind)

After 20 minuted of spreading smoke around the house and an additional 10 of opening the windows and letting the smoke clear out the bad juju this house is now CLEAAAAAANNN.

And so is that bathroom.

I can actually go in there and take (or leave) a pee and not run out with toilet paper hanging out of my pants because I'm scared to be in there alone.

Good money spent.

If you have the jeebies in any part of your room, I highly suggest this. If not for nothing, you'll have an awesome lavender after burn.

BFFFs

Sometimes having your best fucking friend (forever) come hang out with you for a few days is the best thing ever.

We did what we always do together: bitch about how hot it is, cook, clean and laugh until we laughed and farted....oh and naps. Those are the best with BFFFS.

You are the cheese to my stupid mac, Lena.

Now, pack your crap and your skinny model dog, and move here please?

Kthnxbai.

David vs. Goliath

What started off as an innocent and playful nudge to the ribs turned into a full on wrestling match with a person that is trained in Muay Thai fighting.

Perhaps not the smartest move on my behalf. But man was it fun!!

Especially because nobody ended up missing teeth or with a bloody nose :)

I think I lost 10lbs in sweat, 5 in laughter and gained about 20 years of life.

Good times Ashwipe. You win this time.

Upon further review, three total bruises were found on legs and knees. Still a win.

Cheese overload.

Ok so I first have to start by saying that I am mildly....ok, severly obsessed with cheese.

I can live off cheese, cracker, and fruit plates for years and not get tired of it.

Luckily, Whole Foods has read my mind and they have this incredible idea of cutting various cheeses into $3-5 little chunks. So that with $25 I come home with 5-7 individually wrapped little pieces of gold.

Whole Foods, you may be the devil of all paycheck eaters, but you win with this little move.

NFL Ticket

DirecTV was awesome enough to offer this service with our aesthetically pleasing giant alien-attracting dish on the balcony.

There is just over a week to go til I can watch EVERY SINGLE GAME...not quite sure how or when I'll be able to do this, but they tell me its possible and that is all that matters to me!

COME ON NFL SEASON....you're taking too long!

Manual Labor

No matter the amount of technology that surrounds me, there are a number of things I still like to do by hand or without the help of something automated.

The dishes for example. Yes its quick and easy to shove your things into a washer and forget about it, but to me washing the dishes is relaxing. Go figure.

Another thing is filling out an actual hanging paper calendar of appointments, clients and personal bills to pay. I like to get the really cheesy ones at the dollar store and hang it by my desk just to keep life as silly as possible.

If I hear another alarm go off on my phone reminding me of some bill to pay, I may throw that thing out the window. I'd much prefer seeing it scribbled on the calendar.

I'm fighting the techno era....alone, I think...but fighting nevertheless.

Half life

I find it particularly disturbing that after reusing the same Gatorade bottle about 4 days in a row, filling it up with filtered water....it still has a hint of the original flavor it once contained.

What the hell is this stuff made of and why is it's half life that of Uranium!?

Weird...but oddly refreshing to still taste fruit punch while I sip my water.

Heat

Dear Las Vegas "heat wave",

There is no need to puff out your chest and call yourself a heat "wave" when you've been waiving all summer long.

We get it, you're mean you're hot and you're here to stay.

It's nearly 11pm and it's a cool 97 outside.

Just do us all a favor, pack your crap and move on to a different city. We are ready for our "cooler" days of upper 80s.
 

Sincerely,

Dehydrated and Chapped Skinned people of LV

Because we can.

 In our dining room.

Kudos to whoever figures out the non-commie flag.

We've already gotten a few scared/weary looks from people who have walked into the house.

Mission accomplished.

Poked, Proded and Violated.

So the past week, my personal bank card has been compromised and someone decided to ride this gravy train like it was Seabiscuit winning the race.

The joke's on them seeing as how I'm broke anyway!

Regardless, I've gotten my $250 back on the account, ordered a new card and had to suspend my personal account for a week to prevent any further free riding.

J.P. Morgan Chase....you, my friends, suck at being a bank.

I'm taking my pennies back to 8 Mile Road...ewrrr.. Bank Of America. Where I first got an account when I was 13 and apparently still have $60 in that same account.


It's like finding a $20 bill in those pants you haven't worn in 12 years.

Also, shocking that BofA hasn't somehow "absorbed" those $60 into some kinds of "maintenance" fees or "we're just making sure your account stays negative" fee.

Kudos.

That's why you get to watch my account all over again.

Gone in 60...ok fine 300...seconds.

Best. Homemade. Nachos. EVER.

Salsa, guac, and meat all homemade.

Tummy very happy.

Attention Whore

So I would say I'm relatively attractive and I have a decent smile and eyes.

I'm friendly with people I see on the street and at the gym and what not...

I would think people don't mind starting a conversation with me based on some of those things and maybe even find out I'm sorta smart....

Of all the things that start a conversation with me, my Retro 3 Jordans have done the trick far more times than anything else.

It's unreal.

Practically every tool at the gym makes a comment when I wear them, and I've gotten at least 20 people say something to me at a store or just out on the street.

Must get more Jordans.

In a Jam

So like I've mentioned I've gotten into the habit of cooking a LOT lately and loving every second of it. Last night, I got bored and decided to see what I can chop up and throw on the stove to simmer. And so this came out.


Have fun.


Makes about 4-6oz

2 plums sliced (I used a red plum and some fancy name plum that was super sweet)
1/2 Mango diced
Handful of blueberries
1 tbs chunky apple sauce
1/2 lemon squeezed with pulp
1 cup of brown sugar (this is totally to taste...I like mine a little more tangy than sweet so you can keep adding sugar til you can no longer taste fruit...if that's what you're into)
1 cup water

Place all ingredients into a small saucepan on medium heat and cover. Let it start boiling then turn the heat down to low so the mixture can simmer. Mix occasionally and let it simmer for about 20 minutes or until you see that it thickens. Transfer the jam into a glass container and let it cool before putting it into the fridge...if it ever makes it there.

Mine didn't. It was gone. Between putting it on the baked chicken and then on some freshly made brownies and some ice cream, there was just remnants of flavor left at the bottom of the jar.

Enjoy ;)

Cooking whore

Ever since we got all our damn utilities in line and I got my spiffy knife set (which I would protect with my own life...I've been known to hide them in the kitchen so Ashley can't find them and use them without me first talking to them...what? it's totally normal. I swear.) I have been cooking like a mad woman.

I can't stand going out to eat since half the time when I ask them if they have a gluten free menu, they look at me like I have rabies and then ask what that means. Right. Nevermind. I'll just go home and make sure I don't "accidentally" eat some form of gluten and die for the next few hours.

All that said, I've never enjoyed cooking this much in my entire life.

Nothing has turned out bad....yet. And everything is a one time meal leaving no leftovers. Which I take as a sign of good food.

I don't use recipes, I just look at them for ideas.

I'll post some things I've stumbled upon as I go.

Big Oven

Damn you Big Oven application and your random recipe function.

Just watched Julie and Julia and now I want to do a new random recipe every day....

Maybe I'll commit to a new recipe every week.

Keeping a diet and cooking creatively doesn't really go hand in hand...I'll keep you posted.

Social Lurkers

 Is it just me or does anyone else get creeped out by people who have Facebook accounts and never actually interact with any of their "friends"?

I'm not talking about people who have forgotten they even HAVE an account. I mean those stalker-like "friends" who set all their settings to private (where you can't write on their wall, post a picture, tag them, comment, breathe or even LOOK at their page) and all they do is "Like" pages along with all your pictures and status updates without EVER actually saying anything.

It's a SOCIAL network.

You're sorta supposed to SOCIALIZE.

I'm just sayin. It's creepy.

Why have an account when you can just lurk by people's windows at night instead.

ATV2

Oh AppleTV I love you so....but please for the love of all things cute in this world, stop being a fucking douchenozzle and let me properly jailbreak you so I can install the stupid XBMC software and totally legally play my 4TB collection of movies on you.

I promise I'll be gentle....

Snail Mail

It's been YEARS since I've received a written letter...or have sent one for that matter.

There's something about opening your mailbox (the actual box where you stick in a key) and you find a letter from a friend or a family member among the other crap that gets sent to you on a daily basis.

Not only is it a nice surprise to see something other than coupons to stores you don't give a crap about and bills, but there's something so much more personal about reading a letter that's hand written.

So much more thought goes into it. There's an actual PAPER trail that can be saved in an old shoe box to find and read in 30 years.

It saddens me that kids these days have never experienced a letter or a note passed in class. Everything is electronic and instant gratification.

I'll take waiting for a letter response for a few days over a text message any day.

I must be getting old and sentimental because I am starting to miss more and more of the life we used to lead when my generation was in middle school.

/sigh

A friend of mine, Heather, and I are gonna start a revolution.

We are gonna start corresponding like the old times (or like one of us is in prison).

You should join us.

Feel free to ask for my address if you feel a letter coming on and I will gladly write one back :)

Falling off the wagon

One must remember, that when getting back on the regular gym wagon, the wagon will every so often hand your ass on a platter right back to you.

Two days in a row, I've gotten my ass absolutely kicked by the workouts which I might add are about 50% as hard as they were when we fell off this wagon.

Tomorrow should be easy...and by easy I mean we are doing the 300 workout.

Look it up.

You may need to know what to tell people my cause of death was.

I don't want anything fancy. Just have a party in my honor and sprinkle my ashes all over Golds Gym where I shall leave my soul.

Snack Gremlins

Dealing with the midnight snack hunger all over again is like sitting back and relaxing while your toddler has a full blown tantrum and is crying tears the size of china.

All I want is a cookie....or some carrots with peanut butter...or a brownie? *sigh*

Spare a square?

Finding out you just ran out of toilet paper just as you finish peeing has to be one of the most disappointing feelings in life...right up there with finding out your kid is gonna have to repeat 2nd grade cos he just can't grasp the concept of 2+2.

I mean what do you do? Drip dry?

It just causes too many problems.

I want a never ending roll. Or one that slaps me before I sit down to pee to make sure I grab a new roll before committing to the seat.

Canceristics

One of the few cancer traits I will ever admit to is the undying and insatiable need to love and nurture and just take care of someone.

It makes me ridiculously happy to see someone smile from me doing something for them and me showing them love. It's a whole other kind of drug. And I'm totally addicted.

Born to love.

Let there be GAS

So we finally got our gas turned on today. Exactly one week after moving in.

I gotta admit, the cold showers weren't the biggest issue like I thought they would be. It was the cold cut and cheese diet that got to us. After being used to eating a certain way every day, taking away all abilities to cook a meal really throws a monkey wrench into the whole lifestyle.

The house smelled like HOME again tonight.

I got cooking power and a new set of knives. It was on. And it was delicious.

Hot food. Hot shower. Bed time.

Getting OLDer

Ok so maybe staying out til 2am is just not for me anymore.

Good god, I woke up cranky, sore and smelling like a cheap hooker sprinkled with stale cigarette smoke.

I haven't been out in a Vegas club in quite some time, but I really don't remember it being this loud and being violated by complete strangers on the dance floor.

The view was great and so was the company....but the rest of the night may as well have been a short lived thought in my head.

I feel hung over and all I had was Fiji water.

Getting old is starting to suck.

Cold showers, cold cuts, and cold cheese.

Soooo....due to an interview, I missed the stupid gas company today....by 5 minutes. I was gone 45 minutes and came back to a note saying "sorry we missed you. Please reschedule".

Would have been awesome if it weren't for the fact that their earliest appointment is TWO DAYS FROM NOW!!! argh.

Two more days of ass cold showers and more cold cuts and cheese.

Refusing to surrender and spend money on eating out.

You won't win this war Southwest Gas Co.

I'll take a Sprite with that

Ever get put on hold for so long that when they come back on the line you completely forget who the hell you called and why in the first place?

I just ordered a pizza from DirecTV and I think they may actually be on their way.

Drunk Walking

Dear upstairs neighbors,

Please at least attach a helmet to your child's head when you let him trip and fall over every single dust bunny and piece of lint on the floor.

It sounds like a bag of marbles comes tumbling across the floor every couple of hours.

I'm all for bowling indoors with your noggin, but not when it's nearly midnight and I'm trying to sleep.

Thanks,

Me.

P.S. At least let the kid cry instead of yelling at him. I'm looking for the CPS number as we speak.

Wiat, I thought you were done.

How is it that when you look at all your clothes you estimate needing about 50 hangers and when you return from the store with 60 hangers (just in case) you end up short about another 80??

They multiply, I tell you.

Unpacked...for the win.

Moving!

Victory is ours.

Today we moved.

Only took two badasses, 5 hours and a few nearly broken bones to get our shit moved into our OWN place away from crazies.

We have electricity but the gas is yet to come. Apparently they need a week in advance. This should be fun....seeing as how the water heater is gas powered.

Cold shower number one. It's cool. My body needs a giant ice pack.

Happiness is upon us.

Things that make you wonder why you only have 2 hands

You know when you've just finished loading up your hands with 35 grocery bags on one side and 23 on the other with an oddly shaped box under your armpit that is hanging on by the color of the letters on the side of it?

Please explain to me why in that EXACT moment, you nose decides to get a tiny little tickle that feels like the world will literally collapse on itself if you don't scratch it RIGHT NOW!!!!

I'm just asking.

Spinny Kinda

What the hell is with this vertigo?!

Every month, 2 days in a row I go swimming in my head.

Totally un-awesome.

No thanks.

I'm not even sure I want to waste my breath on this....all I will say is there's a reason why people choose to live on their own rather than deal with asshole roommates.

Fun ride but I'll take the check please!

Fingers crossed for this Silverado Ranch place for me and Ash. We should know by Friday!

Down bubu!

People that have their kids on a leash in public should have their rights as a parent revoked.

Last time I checked, children weren't animals. I mean if you're gonna go for it, may as well get the collar too. With a contact tag and all.

Seriously.

Boxes and such

I have to share this story because when I tell it, I feel like maybe I'm high and it's really not as ridiculous as it sounds in my head:

The other day I cleaned the entire house (minus the roomies bedroom) and threw away what I thought was an old cardboard box that had previously lived in the living room for about 3 weeks, pushed up against a wall collecting everything that didn't know it's place.

Today, (by way of text...and not to me, but rather to Ash) I was ripped a new asshole because, apparently, I'd thrown away the living room coffee table...?

I know, I had the same face as you do now when I heard this.

Turns out, the roomies loved and cherished this old box that you can get from purchasing large amounts of crap at Costco, and were now furious that I could do such a thing.

I'm sorry, back where I'm from, a cardboard box is a fucking cardboard box. It's a recyclable piece of material at best. Coffee tables are made of wood...or compressed wood if you're really in a pinch for money.

My cat once used a cardboard box as a bed...then she realized it was a box and let me throw it away.

Honestly.

I understand respecting people's property, but really....ITS JUST A FUCKING BOX! Get over it!

Eggs, chicken...um...food?

Either I've taken too many hits to the head (entirely possible) or this happens to more than just me.

For some odd reason I never seem to want to compile a list of things I need to get at the store, thinking I couldn't possibly forget it. But guess what happens as soon as I put my hands on the cart and wheel myself into a grocery store?

I get shopping amnesia.

I forget every single item I needed to buy, walk around aimlessly picking up what I think I may need.

I get home, unload the bags and realize I got 1 item I needed and the rest is still missing...but I did get 45 other things I never knew I was missing.

Do I learn from this?

Absolutely not.

I've been going to the store to pick up Red Wine Vinegar for the past 6 grocery trips.

A Brief LA sighting.

After being gone from the hells of Los Angeles for nearly a month, I had to come back to get some more things and well....quite frankly to stir up some shit.

I gathered my absolute favorite vaginas (my two cousins and my best friend) and went out to dinner.

A rowdy one.

I know the Sagebrush Cantina is no stranger to large groups of over-caffeinated mid 20s bimbos...but lets face it, none of us were even remotely caffeinated, in our mid 20s and definitely not bimbos, but we made sure to leave our mark.

I started off by telling the girl that took us to our table to slow her damn roll because that hobag took off to the table like she was wearing skates and left all 4 of our old asses in the dust, wondering where the hell our table was.

After a few drinks (the rest of the crew, not me...I had a story to tell and I couldn't possibly dilute it with alcohol), and two plates full of the least carbed thing on the menu--the "oriental" chicken salad and some chicken skewers--it was 2 and a half hours later and I was hungry again. But that's beside the point here.

We lost one crew member to what I think is absolutely lameness (she claims it was tiredness due to "working" all day) whatever....so the cousins took off to what was sure to be an adventure in West Hollywood.

We were going to club hop til our flip flops couldn't handle it anymore!!

Yeah we were in flip flops....clearly this wasn't premeditated.

We drove the fun and hilly 18 miles to WeHo...passed a few of our "regular" clubs that had lines clearing a few corners, looked at one another and kept driving.

Yes. We drove to WeHo.....that was the adventure. Whatever! You call us old and lazy, we think it was a wise decision seeing as how none of us were dressed up to par and there was no way in hell we would go into a club and not get hit on at least 3 times...and that wasn't about to happen...with flip flops.

Instead, we went to one of our houses and sat talking on the couch for a few hours and laughed until we couldn't laugh anymore and dispersed into the darkness of the night.

this is how I do Los Angeles. With an Eff You to the lines at clubs, and 2 and a half hour dinners with the best people in the entire county.

Suck it LA.

Not Quite Meg

I don't know what they feed her or what they do...but good God she's ridiculously good looking.

P.S I Hate You

After an 18 year old long abusive relationship, I've left Los Angeles.

Sorta forgot to mention it in hopes that it wouldn't realize I was gone and start drunk dialing me in the middle of the night asking me to please come back and it would try harder.

It's awkward and no new city wants to deal with that kind of baggage.

It's hotter than the surface temperature of Mars (I'm assuming), and the people here are filled with hopeless dreams of overnight success, but you really can't beat the strange serenity of Las Vegas.

As soon as I get used to driving 10mph slower than my lead foot wants me to drive, I'll start appreciating the open freeways and lack of jackass drivers on the road. For now, I am the jackass. Sorry Vegas....old habits die hard.

Ransom

I wonder what magazines and newspapers they use to cut out the letters for ransom notes.

This Cosmo magazine is totally not working.


Just sayin.

iBitch

Dear Apple iPhone makers,

My pathetic iPhone 3GS is on it's last leg. I've taken it to the depths of all waters (twice...salt and fresh), dug it out from sand pits, experimented with different velocity and distance drops several times per day. Texted my way out of a fully charged battery within a matter of hours. Kept myself thoroughly entertained with Pandora radio at the gym. Chucked it in anger.... It has been one hell of a trooper.

Now my battery is tired. Without use the poor thing lasts a few hours. Applications quit without warning. And it seldom wants to play with me.

Why do I have to cough up $100 to cash in my "FREE" upgrade? I've been an AT&T customer for 15 years and have gone through at least 10 phones with more than 4 lines active at all times.

Throw a mofo a bone...I don't WANT to part with this brick. To be perfectly honest I'd be happy with one that just works like this one used to, but you insist on making new phones every 3 days so I have to conform.

Because of you, I will have separation anxiety when this bumble bee has to be retired.

Totally not ok.

Sincerely,

Me

Insomnia

There's something to say about your sleeping patterns when your normal "make me sleep" pill with the addition of TWO attempts with Valerian drops doesn't take you down.

Up til 5:30am trying to get to sleep.

Finally knocked unconscious til 8:00am.

Totally incoherent the rest of the day.

Hope this run of vampire state is short. I don't like running into walls.

Opinions

Being born does not automatically give you the privilege to judge anyone.

You're allowed your opinions, beliefs, moral values and biases, but keep that stuff to yourself if you can't be positive in some way.

Keep your crusty looks to yourself because they only make you look ignorant and ugly to the outside world.

If you open your eyes and your mind, you'll see that there is a lot more to the world than how you see it. And the things that are different than what you're used to, are not always bad.

They are just that....different.

Random acts of being 5 again

Sometimes it's totally appropriate (while making dinner) to pull down the pants of someone in the kitchen as they reflex by kicking you in the groinage area making you collapse to the floor in pain/laughter while you try to take them down with you (successfully I might add) giving them a sweatpants wedgie followed by both of you laughing so hard you snort/fart/pee just a little.

Totally normal.

Pandora

I don't know what I did with my life before it.

It gets me through my workouts. It chills me out at night. It gets my ass shaking while I'm getting dressed. It keeps me company while cooking. It keeps me true to my ghetto roots by not judging me while I rap every single word to a Nelly (or worse yet, Lil Wayne) song. It totally impedes my working by making me practically comatose with that damn perfected Portishead station.

Pandora Radio....you complete me.

Brilliance at it's lowest

Ash: This whole gluten free thing....*sudden long pause*

Me: ....right....

Ash: OMG you have ASS disease!

Me: ...rrrright....

Ash: Gluten.....Glu-ten.....Glute....Glut....GLUTE....ASS...you have ASS disease!

Me: *silence*

Ash: don't look at me like that....

Evolution

Today, my iPhone autocorrected me when I texted the S.O. to get back to the slaveship....calling it a spaceship.

No.

I meant SLAVEship.

Stupid evolution.

OMG

want.

Ah it hurts so good

Absolutely cannot wait to get the ribs done...this was just a quick taste for the pain to come.

#5

Dirty pop

Sometimes....

working out to n'sync makes you feel like a fucking princess.


...and makes everyone at the gym look at you funny when you bust into the "bye bye bye" routine.

Whatever. Haters. You're just mad I can reach my own ass to wipe it. Ya I said it! Do somethin....

...ok, please don't hurt me.


...dirty ....dirty ...dirty....POP

I mean....that's how we would all react right?

Everything is fairly "normal" until.....1:11....what?


This is what I mean when I say that kids need to play outside more often....without remote controls nearby.

I'm just sayin....

Chocolate bricks

Dear makers of gluten free brownie mix,

I know life as a formulator of all things that should be flour filled....flourless, is frustrating, complicated and confusing. But can you please try not to make brownies taste like chocolate flavored cardboard and feel like a mortar layered brick wall resting in your stomach?

I'm fairly certain last week's batch of brownies has taken a semi permanent residency in my digestive track and it has signed at least a 5 year lease.

I know us gluten free folk are annoying, but alas, we are still people, and we still enjoy chocolaty snacks.

Thank you in advance for all your efforts.

Sincerely,

Kujo

Epic

When people use this word in a sentence that doesn't include truly epic things such as WWII or the Holocaust...or I'll even let an earthquake slide....it absolutely makes me twitch and want to slap the closest human next to me.

–adjective Also, ep·i·cal.

1.

noting or pertaining to a long poetic composition, usually centered upon a hero, in which a series of great achievements or events is narrated in elevated style: Homer's Iliad is an epic poem.

2.

resembling or suggesting such poetry: an epic novel on the founding of the country.

3.

heroic; majestic; impressively great: the epic events of the war.

 

NOTHING about a jackass cracking his head on concrete while attempting a "parkour" move is majestic or even remotely heroic or poetic.

 

  

Breaking rules...and the law

Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Absolutely!

It would be nice to break the law for a good cause for once.

You know us Russians...we like to do things "differently". So, breaking the law to save a blood related Russian would be like putting on pants.

Dances With Wolves

What an incredible movie. All 17 hours of it.

Get your panties untangled, yes I said Dances with Wolves. And NO I have not seen it until now.

(Foreigner status, remember?)

Holy not proud to be an A-MEHR-I-CAN, batman.

Fuckin white people. We (and I use the term loosely...) sincerely suck as a race.

Plyo...what?

You think you're in great shape until you do an hour of Plyometrics.

I don't remember having sweat glands there.

F.

M.

L.

Just curious

Since when are appliances an "option" when moving into a rental house?

Especially when the posting on your page clearly reads:

Appliances include: washer/dryer, refrigirator, dish washer.

Are stoves and microwaves also not a standard inclusion anymore?

I may be way out of line for asking, but it just seems wrong?

Builtup

I'm not saying I'd actually kill someone over keeping the toothpaste tube crusty and nasty lookin....but I do get a strong urge to possibly stab or choke a little....

It's just a minor pet peeve.

Another day

Another year closer to changing that first digit in my age.

Birthdays. They used to make me giddy for days before and after. But that was at least 15 years ago.

Now, I just appreciate all the well wishes and thank everyone for remembering the day I came into this world naked, wet, cold and confused....

can't say much has changed :)

Comfortably present

One of my most favorite types of conversations involve zero words.

Question of the day

Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

FUUUUCK no. For either one.

I wouldn't want fame if someone added 10 years to my life. Because I know inevitably I'd end up shortening my life by an extra 15 years just by being a famous asswipe.

As for "extreme" attractiveness...i'm a firm believer that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you may think is "extremely" attractive, is probably not at all attractive to me. I'll take my chances with my looks and degree of famousness-ness...

Determined

Kick your heels in and put in everything you have towards something you really WANT or live within your means comfortably and not stress about it and get something you can actually HAVE?

I've spent my entire life digging my heels in and working for the things I want...and need.

Dependence Day

Sometimes watching fireworks from your window while laying in bed in the dark with someone you can't imagine living without, is the best way to spend the 4th of July.

Happy In-dependence Day America.

Dolls

They creep me out. With their fixed non blinking eyes that sit there and judge me.

You don't know me, doll!

Little toy cars. Now there's a practical toy. You get to break off the wheels and other swallowable parts. Push them off the desk and pretend they are falling off a cliff in a fiery crash.

Dirt. That's a good toy too. Not to mention a pretty good snack as well.

I'm just sayin. I never liked dolls and little girls (or boys) that play with them creep me out just as equally as the dolls themselves.

Gym douchebaggery

Dear guy at the gym that is clearly on steroids because your head is being swallowed by your neck, please stop coming to the gym just to walk around and fix your hair in the mirror...which is balding, I might add.

You're distracting.

Sincerely,

The rest of the gym.

Silence

Is not only golden, it seems to have been abandoned all together.

When was the last time you allowed yourself to be in complete silence?

I'm talking the kind of silence where the only sound you hear is the sound of your breathing.

Go ahead.

Give it a shot. Don't worry, the voices in your head will totally understand you needing some space...I hope.

Beach Bum

There is something so absolutely magnetic about the beach at night that just keeps me wanting to come and sit on the sand and hear the waves crashing every single night.

I can't get enough of it.

Tattoo Bug

My itch for a tattoo has turned into a full blown rash...maybe even some kind of a topical viral bug...I'm not sure, but I have 4 designs I MUST get on my body!

I've become so one track minded about it. You know how when you have something going on in your life and all you seem to hear and see somehow pertains to that? Thats me. All I see are designs and tattoo art. All I hear are people talking about getting their work done.

Soon my skin, soon. Ribs, you're up first.

Saggy Ass

I just want to know how one manages to sag skinny jeans....

Seriously. Please shop in your gender/age specific section of the department store...you look like you took a crap in your little sister's tight jeans and threw on some chucks and called it a style.

Some people's kids.

It seems I have fallen

I have a confession to make. I'm in love.

It's a daily affair.

Takes about 10 minutes on average every night of my life.

Leaves me with sweat dripping down my body.

So sometimes I'm too sore to do it every night but even those nights all I can do is think about doing it.

Back and forth I go...breathing harder with every stroke.

Dear rowing machine at my gym...you are the best thing since sliced gluten free bread. I miss you when I don't sit on you. You make my life complete. Please be broken for everyone but me.

Sincerely,

Your one and only.

Red Blood

While having lunch the other day the topic of Communism came up.

I know what you're thinking..."how could it not, you're Russian"

And generally you'd be right. You put two Russians together and you get a whole Red Party happening.

In this case, I was tickled by the fact that someone who I would generally never expect to bring it up, did....followed by "I think it's a great idea."

As you can imagine I momentarily stopped chewing, looked over at her and wondered if the heat had finally reached the brain and converted her to my kind.

She stared intensely back at me and said "what? not what you expected?"

No. Not really. Not from a Native American/Italian Republican.

I guess I should have prefaced by saying that the fact that I'm Russian has absolutely zero influence on my beliefs in Marxism and Communism. I've never been one to follow an idea just because it was the fashionable thing to do....(not that either one of those philosophies/ideas are by any means popular or fashionable).

I've read and studied both ideas fairly extensively and formed my own affinity towards them.

For those who may not be familiar with the ideas (or who may have a cookie cutter opinion on it) I wanted to just simply and vaguely explain it:

Both the Marxism theory (the very bare idea of Communism) and the more elaborate idea of Communism boil down to having a classless society. Like a tribe. A commune. You see the correlation?

Simply put: You provide your "community" with what you CAN, and accept what you NEED. Therefore you are an asset based on your skills and your contributions, and in return, you will posses every thing you require for a comfortable life.

No super classes with Maybachs and unpronounceable amounts of money.

No homeless.

No one left behind.

Sounds good right? (well maybe not to everyone)

The greatest con of humanity and any concept/idea ever geared toward the "community": GREED.

Communism will never work simply because there are those humans who are greedy more than they are anything else.

This concludes the Commie party meeting. Donuts and coffee are in the main lobby, please sign up for our monthly Red Newsletter.

Heat

There's something terribly inhuman about getting into a car, pushing the "outside temp" button and it telling you it's 117 degrees.

Perhaps everything after about 110 just doesn't matter...but try telling that to my Siberian skin.

Man, this one's a doozy!

Kudos to NY, not so much for the other 44 states...

Today, the state of New York legalized gay marriage.

As happy as that makes me for such an influential state, it also makes me incredibly sad for the rest of the states that refuse to follow suit.

In a country where only five states (CT, IA, NH, VT, MA), D.C. and the Coquille Indian Tribe in Oregon actually issue licenses for gay marriages, and two other states that will recognize you as a human but not give you a license (RI and MD), it makes me wonder what "freedom" exactly are our troops fighting for every single day?

It's pathetic that this is still a real issue. And one that's been beaten far beyond a dead-horse state.

"According to the federal government's Government Accountability Office (GAO), more than 1,138 rights and protections are conferred to U.S. citizens upon marriage by the federal government; areas affected include Social Security benefits, veterans' benefits, health insurance, Medicaid, hospital visitation, estate taxes, retirement savings, pensions, family leave, and immigration law. However, many aspects of marriage law affecting the day to day lives of inhabitants of the United States are determined by the states, not the federal government, and the Defense of Marriage Act does not prevent individual states from defining marriage as they see fit."----

Right...so a state can legalize your decision to bind your assets and share your life with the same sex, but how can you possibly think it's constitutionally sound to want to be recognized as some one's spouse when you are trying to stay by their hospital bed in another state? How can it make sense to want to take medical leave when your life partner is having a baby that you will legally raise as your child? And of course its absolutely ludicrous to want to be added to your spouse's pension plan.

I wish for a moment people would pull their heads out of their asses to breathe in some fresh air and have a moment of clarity...where they forget what those old wig wearing farts wrote in a constitution that was based on a fairy tale idea (probably while consuming large amounts of bourbon and smoking opium)...and just think of people as....wait for it.....PEOPLE. As individuals that have the human right to choose with whom they wish to fall in love, and with whom to share their treasures and debts.

Hooray for New York....really. I just sincerely hope more states will follow. And I sincerely wish this trend would start inland moving out to the edges of the nation instead of trying to penetrate from the coastal states into the middle.

Fingers and what-not crossed, but I certainly won't hold my breath for fear of asphyxiation.

Bygones

Just a note:

Things that happened in your past relationships shouldn't dictate how you treat someone in your current relationship.

Every single person is different. They come with their own set of pros and cons. There is absolutely no need to drag someone else's baggage into a new relationship and make them pay for it.

I completely understand that scars caused by others don't fade quite as quickly as we would wish, but picking old and unrelated battles just creates unnecessary issues.

Try to distinguish issues as past and present and recognize when to let the past be the past and you'll see how much easier it is to build something new and untouchable.

Missing...

Every once in a (recently often) while i get incredibly sad remembering three really important people that got ripped out of my life the same year within a six-month period.

Watching Pearl Harbor for the first time tonight (I know I know, how could have I not seen it til now??) yanked me back into such sadness and complete and utter breakdown of all strength. I broke down into uncontrollable tears.  It reminded me how it seems like every time I truly care about someone and let my guard down, they seem to vanish from my life....

I try not to dwell on the past and look forward positively into the future...but honestly, I'm terrified with the current guard down.

If I somehow lose this time, it would be pretty hard to bounce back without heavy medication.

I miss you Danny, Jo and Sy.

You will always live long in my heart until we meet in another life.

We are our childhood memories

Everything we are, everything we do and how we respond to situations in life is a direct representation of our upbringing.

I come from a very loving family. Normal by all standards. I was hugged and loved every day. My parents laughed with us. My parents disciplined us and spoke to us like we were adults from the moment we learned how to talk. We have always been supported in our ideas. Though they may not always agree with what we think, they will at least always hear us out.

I realize that most people I meet didn't grow up in a safe and loving household. And I admire those who rise above the negativity and hardships from their childhood to become loving and caring adults.

It can't be easy to let go of resentment and emotional scars and give people a chance to show you that things can be different.

Impulses

There's something I've learned about myself in the past few years....I'm quite impulsive but only when it comes to pleasing others.

Let me explain.

I've always been mature in every sense of the word except maybe how I spent my own money. I used to get whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and nobody could tell me otherwise. In recent years I've finally grown up and realized I can probably live without whatever it is that's screaming to make me buy it.

I've adopted a new technique that's worked quite well for me. If I see something I feel like I can't live without I simply tell myself to walk away and if I think about it again within two weeks from then, I'll just go back and get it. If I forget all about it 5 minutes after I see it, it's an impulse and I just saved myself whatever amount of money.

This works great for things I want for MYSELF....when it comes to things for others....I'm still just as bad.

I just like making people smile. And most times, I'll put my own wish list on hold just to accommodate someone else's.

I personally see nothing wrong with it, but I've been questioned about it before.

Ask all you want, it's not something I'll ever change.

Affection

“Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench when there is plenty of room at both ends” - Anonymous

There may be something broken inside me but I am one of those people that is filled to the brim with affection to give. 

I'm that person that will trace my fingers on your back when I lay next to you or hold your hand while driving or sit on the same side of the restaurant booth instead of across from you. It's how I show my love for someone.

I also absolutely wither away if I don't get affection in return. 

I've come to the conclusion that my crappy sleeping habits are solely to blame on sleeping alone.

Must fix.

Cheaters

One of my biggest anger triggers are unfaithful people.

The amount of selfishness and disrespect someone needs to have within themselves to actually cheat is baffling to me.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, as the human race it seems very difficult for us to maintain a monogamous relationship. We are surrounded by temptation everywhere we look. God forbid you are an attractive person in a relationship. It's like being the only tube of sunscreen on an island full of albinos that spontaneously combust upon exposure to the sun. Everybody wants a piece and they aren't exactly waiting for their turn, they just grab the tube and squeeze.

I don't care if you are the best sunscreen made from the soft skin of baby seals, if you can't keep your hands to yourself or control the situations where you put yourself at risk of succumb to temptation....DON'T COMMIT TO A RELATIONSHIP!

It really is that simple. Stop being selfish. Be a slut, by all means. I think everyone needs to get it out of their system. But don't put someone under the impression that you give a crap, when in reality, you are only concerned with satisfying your own needs.

Some people respond with depression to heartbreak, and others (like myself) can sometimes respond with making a few phone calls to some "uncles" and having you go missing.

I'm just saying.

No Sleep for the....well, just no sleep.

It's 5:30am and you know the sun is coming up in just an hour.

You're already frustrated because you should have been asleep for at least 5 hours already, yet here you are watching the minutes tick by.

The later it gets, the more you can't sleep, the more you beg the sandman to come and hit you over the head with a sledge hammer.

The past two nights I have slept a combined 4 hours.

Every few months, my body decides to skip an entire night of sleep and function seemingly unfazed...until the next night hits and I pass out like I'd been drugged.

I think it may be time to start my 5HTP therapy again. I don't think my body responds to sleepless nights quite as well as it used to.

Patience vs. Persitence

"No road is too long for him who advances slowly and does not hurry, and no attainment is beyond his reach who equips himself with patience to achieve it." - Jean de La Bruyere 

Patience has never been a virtue of mine. That's no secret to anyone that's known me for longer than 5 minutes.  

Persistence, however, is. 

I'm very decisive and once I've set my mind on something I am very driven and will stop at nothing to attain it. 

Having been raised this way, it drives me absolutely insane when all I have to do is sit and wait for something to happen. I honestly can't give a single example in my life where I've just waited for something. 

I suppose it's never too late to learn a few new virtues.

Or maybe not.

I'd rather just tighten the ropes and make it happen.

Monotony

Monotony. Webster's Dictionary defines it as:

mo·not·o·ny/məˈnätn-ē/Noun

1. Lack of variety and interest; tedious repetition and routine.

Let's just look at this word in it's entire definition, then. 

Lack of variety and interest: I find that being an adult and responsible is the sole reason for monotony. As soon as you hit a certain age (mentally) it's like all the variety goes right out the window and you wake up one morning wondering why you've been on the same routine for the past 6 years.

Let's face it, all our adolescent life we spend waiting to turn 18 so we can be ADULTS, and when that hits you realize all that's been accomplished is the ability to be sent to jail for all the stupid shit you used to do and just get slapped on the hand.

Then we wait for 21! Now you can drink legally...and even more so be tried as an adult for the even stupider shit you do while legally intoxicated.

Then you finally get your shit together and realize you should probably follow some rules and set a schedule and fit into society like the rest of these poor bastards.

THIS is the death of all variety. 

Enter Tedious repetition and routine: You get up, follow your set series of activities for the day, come home, rinse and repeat. 

We all have daily routines or discipline (as I like to refer to it) and quite frankly I think I would have an aneurysm if I didn't, but what I'm talking about refers more along the lines of monotony in life all together.

We live on a cycle. Weekdays=Work. Weekends=Play a.k.a. get trashed to forget past/upcoming week. Birthdays=Party. Holidays=Family Gatherings.

And on a grander scheme of things: we are born, we learn, we marry, we procreate, we start resenting our partner, we try to live out our golden years as happily as possible, we die. The cycle of life.

Like I mentioned before, I'm all about plans and following a schedule of tasks, setting goals and attaining goals. But every few months my brain panics and I sit and analyze and over-think every aspect of my life. The things I've done, the things I haven't done, where I stand in this cycle of life, and how I can't stand the fact that life is so predictable. 

Truth is, I get bored easily. With everything. I find it hard to find people and things that stimulate me longer than a few minutes. Every once in a great while, I meet a person that manages to make it for a few months, some even a few years. I call those good friends. 

Maybe I'm an arrogant asshole, but at least I'm honest about it, right? 

Maybe not.

All I know is, it scares me to death that I can almost count on getting bored of pretty much everything and everyone.

I'm guessing the key to breaking monotony is in it's very definition....get rid of the LACK of variation. Which I can see in application to the activities in life, but how about the people?

How do you add variety to relationships (romantic and not) without being a complete asswipe?

The answer is you don't.

You find a person that understands you and you add variety to both your lives and activities by being spontaneous and doing things outside the norm.

At least that's my solution for the time being. I'll let you know how it works.