Leaping head first. Sans helmet.

There is so much change going on in my life and all around me that when I take a moment to stop and think about it, it scares the living crap out of me.

Every single thing is something I can't really talk about so it makes it even more exciting and frustrating all at once.

Change is always good. It proves we are human...right?

Like I told my best friend today: When I stop and think about it, even though I feel it's hard now, I realize THIS is the easy part. I know what's coming next and it makes me appreciate THIS time even more.

Facing fears and insecurities one at a time. It's challenging but so liberating.

Don't be afraid to step outside your comfort zones.

Fear is the death of all potential.

And yes you can quote me, God knows I thought it was a genius statement ;)

Bush trimmings.

Sheik Quatro Trim Style...that commercial disturbs me on a lot of levels.

I don't really care that it's enriched with Jojoba oils for extra moisturizing properties. I don't need an innuendo filled commercial about differently shaped bushes to sell me anything, let alone a bush trimming accessory.

You, along with the pad and tampon commercials, I can do without, thank you.

Wait, it's what day?

you know how you know you've been travelling too many hours in one day?

When in the middle of being out that evening you ask someone what day it is.

My day started at 5am central time with a drive to the airport where I'd have my cavities properly checked and my damn blackberry jam taken away. Fuckers. I loved that jam.

Don't worry, I LOVE taking off all my jewelry, belts, earrings, shoes, underwear (it was a travel date, I figured I'd wear some), and anything else remotely removable. It only takes 45 minutes to put it all back on. I thought the xray scanner was effin OPTIONAL.

Anyway. Two hours to Houston, 15 minutes between flights IN Houston's large ass airport (I got my cardio workout for the day right there!), and three and a half more hours to LAX...and I had touched down in this gray dirt hole. It was 2pm and I was exhausted from some turbulant air on both flights.

Had to wait a bit but I finally got my exhausted ass home around 4pm.

Any logical human being would get home, shower and sleep...right?

Right. Well, I'm anything but rational. I got home, showered, laid down and immediately got invited to go out tonight.

Here came another opportunity to say "you know? I'm ok tonight, I think I'll just rest a bit."

Not me. I just asked what time I needed to be ready.

Doing everything BUT sleeping between this time and when I needed to be ready, I got all pretty and was ready to do something as long as it didn't involve me making good decisions.

East/West Lounge in West Hollywood seemed like the best decision.

2am and we are hungry. It's BURGER TIME!

Apparently my fat kid DIDN'T stay in Nashville as I'd hoped.

It's 3am and our driver, my amazing cousin, had a drink tonight so who better to drive us all home safely than a sleep deprived, stuffed to the gills ME?

Surprisingly, we all made it home safely and in one piece. Thanks to my wonderful Cadillac driving skills.

Y'all are welcome. Now what the fuck day is it?!

What do you mean "just hide in a bathtub"?!

Today I decided to try something new...waking up with Heather and Becky at normal people hours and drive out with them to take Heather to work....it was my last day here and I figured I'd get a head start on the day and spend some more time hanging out.

All went well, we dropped Heather off, got home and sat on the couch to watch the weather channel (Nashville's favorite channel). There were tornado warnings all night and I was keeping an eye on their progress seeing as how I was to fly out at 6pm.

One problem about watching the weather channel at 8am after having slept 3 hours at night, and now wearing a very cozy hoodie and a tiny French Bulldog wedged between your knees...you tend to pass the fuck out on the couch for an unknown amount of hours like someone crept up behind you and clubbed you over the head with a sledge hammer.

One thing led to another and when I woke up Becky was gone and it was 1pm....again.

It's not often I hit this kind of vortex of time traveling and black holes of sleep. But when I do, I wake up lost and confused.

After finally realizing I was suppose to get ready and be packed by 3:30pm, I promptly sat for another hour watching the news tell me that Armageddon was upon us and there was no way I was flying out that night.

Turns out, the airlines don't watch the same news as we do, because when I called to find out if we were still flying, they assured me all was ok. It certainly didn't look or sound ok outside...with crashing lighting and thunder loud enough to make me jump a few times.

It was 3:15, so I went to pack.

We headed out to grab Heather on the way to the airport...shortly into our drive there we realized the weather didn't seem to be getting any better. Regardless, we grabbed Heather and headed to the airport.

After 15 minutes in traffic and what looked like certain death by tornado or flood on the freeway, I decide to call the airline one more time...my flight was flagged for being delayed and hour and a half and my connecting flight was only an hour after my previously scheduled flight. No matter the amount of creative math, I was not going to make my connection and really didn't feel like sleeping at the airport.

Surprisingly, the lady that picked up my call had no problem changing my flight to tomorrow! Early in the morning, but out of the harm of the tornadoes!

I don't care how hard ass you are, nobody wants to fly in turbulence like that!

Tonight, it's nachos time and a movie (Black Swan for the Nth time for me...I'm not complaining)

Much needed chilling time. Here's to hoping we don't get hit by one of those gnarly looking wind and rain tunnels down in Alabama :/

Burger UP!

After yesterday's trip through nature and being out and about for almost a week non stop, today, I woke up at a healthy 1pm and Becky informed me that we were off to explore Nashville's 12th South. If you've never been, it's the equivalent to the posh and trendy shops of Melrose mixed in with a dash of San Francisco swagger. It also features two streets lined with studio upon studio of every single music name you've ever heard.

We were limited on time since Heather's ass had to get back to work, so we stumbled into a burger joint called "Burger Up"...which i think may be the best burger I've ever tried. Or rather best 3 burgers accompanied by mouth watering corn chowder and a pink lemonade. Holy crap was my fat kid happy!

As if my threesome of bison, lamb and bacon burger wasn't enough, I decided to top it all off with an authentic Mexican Popsicle. I must say, although very delicious, it was the straw that broke this camel's back. I literally had zero space left in my stomach. I got maybe 4 bites into that ice cream and had to give it away for fear of losing my entire lunch.

Anyway, after the brief stuffing of the faces, we headed back home. I had homework due so I strapped myself to the laptop and the couch and did work....for 3 hours.

This was far too much time staring at a computer so I slammed that shit shut and we went off to pick up the other ho from work and immediately come home to veg and do absolutely nothing.


This ended up being a night of finally getting to some leftovers and a crappy movie..."How Do You Know"...I don't quite remember what it was about, I just remember that none of us wanted to quit on it but also nobody was really enjoying it either.


I suppose a movie is a movie some nights, and this was one of them. We needed the rest.

WTF, was that a beaver?!

I've been in Nashville for the past...(counting) 6 days and we have been non-stop pretty much the entire time.

Today, we decided to take it easy. Everyone woke up feeling like they were molested jail style and some of us actually had to endure work. I give you mad props, Heather.

The plan was to wake up whenever my legs stopped cramping and allowed me to get out of bed and put on pants like a normal human being instead of a paraplegic. (no offense) Then to get on the bike and head out on the Natchez Trace drive. I later learned that it's 444-mile road through incredible scenery and 10,000 years of North American history! We would only do about 40 miles of it today.

We officially got off the couch and into our riding gear at 3pm, but not before inhaling a bowl of cereal....because, seriously, riding without Lucky Charms is just dangerous.

I can't put into words the beauty of this road. One really has to see it in person to appreciate it fully. Miles upon miles of rolling green hills, roads lined with trees, tiny creeks following the roads....absolutely breathtaking.

We stopped just before a long bridge so we could walk onto it and see the massiveness of the countryside..and after curbing my fear of heights (once again), I peeked over the bridge to see roads underneath hidden between hills with cars looking like soldier ants. I'm rarely left speechless...but this view did it.

The next stretch of road we rode with our heads in the cloud and our minds in space....until a fucking animal decided to b-line across the highway RIGHT in front of our front tire. We missed his tail by about 3 inches and nearly lost our lives trying to avoid HIS certain death. I thought it may have been a squirrel, Becky figured it was a muskrat? It could have been a beaver. Whatever the hell it was, it woke us right the fuck up!


All lives spared, we stopped a few minutes later at a creek to reflect on how close we were to peeing our pants and how much of a little girl I sounded like when I screamed.

The rest of the ride was critter-less and smooth, with the temperature at a perfect 76 degrees and a light breeze.


We made it back home just in time to meet with Heather and Gretchen to head to dinner at Loveless Cafe...good thing, too, because I was ready to run over a beaver and eat THAT.


Biscuits, country fried chicken, fried green tomatoes, pulled pork sandwhich....my fat kid was sitting at the table clapping her hands like a little seal.

I needed to be wheeled out of that place.


I swear when I get back to LA, I'm going to need to expand some doorways and maybe a few pairs of pants.

Left overs packed into the fridge, it's time to get some damn rest so we can do nothing but RELAX tomorrow.

I hear thunder and see lightning and feel like I'm about to get swept up and taken to Kansas. 


Another amazing day and night in Nashtyville!

Happy Mother-F*n Easter

I suppose if you're going to celebrate Easter (which I rarely do, aside from consuming ridiculous amounts of chocolate shaped in various animals and hiding eggs too high for the kids to reach), you may as well spend it climbing a fucking mountain with sharp, loose rocks.

It's ok, I'll explain.

On this glorious day in Nashville we set out to visit the Fall Creek Falls. (notice how the word "fall" is in there twice? ya, it worried me too)

Upon leaving the house we heard what was later explained to me as being the tornado sirens....nobody else seemed to panic so I just pretended I wasn't worried either. I mean after all, it wasn't as if we were going 2 hours out of the city into the woods without reception or anything right?

You couldn't hold down 5 hookers on a mission to trail down to some waterfall pool, not with a tornado warning, anyway.

After successfully navigating our way to the area, we park as far as we could manage from the actual trail (cos that's just how we roll), and make our way down to the head of the trail.

The beginning didn't look scary at all. In fact, I was beginning to wonder why the website said the trail was "challenging".

Then, like a brick wall, we hit a fucking ledge....that was the beginning of a .25 mile "hike" down one of the steepest mountains I've ever seen in my entire life.

When they say .25 miles, they mean STRAIGHT DOWN! I'm talking 90 degree grade DOWNWARD. I'm fairly certain this "path" was once a waterfall itself. Once dry, they decided to pull a metal rope from top to bottom, and called it a "trail."

It may not seem like a major issue to the naked eye, but when you are DEATHLY afraid of heights, this posed a minor situation for me and another trooper. We both froze like deer in headlights, shaky hands, racing heart, and slightly nauseated. Ok, I won't lie. I was ready to cry and she was ready to throw up at any moment.

Shoes off and head forward, we somehow managed to make it down this mountain of death.

Somewhere in the middle of this climb I realized what goes down must eventually go back up if it wants to sleep in a bed and not a rock tent.

Legs still shaking from trying to climb like a spider monkey, I stood in absolute awe of the magnitude of beauty in front of us. Two huge waterfalls landing into a giant pool of fresh spring water. We wasted no time jumping in (actually it was more like inching our way into the freezing water, but it sounds better if we jumped in...right?)
It was late and no matter how much I tried to ignore the fact, it was time for us to somehow make it back up a fucking jagged mountain.

I won't lie, I needed a pep-talk and a xanax...but the latter wasn't available.

We had no choice. We had to start going up.

The first part was fine...the climb was gradual and the rope was handy when needed. Until, like an asshole, I decided to check our progress and looked down and then up...not at all a good idea....quite possibly one of the worst ideas I ever had.

Vertigo kicked in. My hands were shaking, my brain was having a minor meltdown. And of course, this is where the rope went somewhere off the path and we are left with rocks and tree roots to hold on to.

At one point I was hugging a giant rock like it was my birth mother and quietly yelling out "I'M NOT OK!!!!"

It's funny now, but at the time....not so much.

With the help of my amazing friend Becky (I seriously owe my life to you today!) we somehow made it past the wall of death and near the cable again.

Once I had my hands on that stupid cable I transformed into a spider monkey once again and managed to climb a 30 foot distance in a matter of 3 seconds. And I really wish I was exaggerating, but I wanted the fuck off that mountain and I wasn't about to let some feet stand in the way. So I did what monkeys do best.

I must admit, I'm ridiculously proud of myself and of Heather (the other spaz with a fear of heights) for literally forcing ourselves to face our fears. Hi-five to us.

We finished the day by eating Sonics as our Easter dinner, visiting a Sparta sign (it'll all make sense with pictures) and watching a movie while magnetically attached to the couch.

I still can't move my legs....

Happy Easter

P.S. You'll notice there are no picture of the actual trail? That's because we were too busy holding on to dear life.

Divine Intervention...?

Yesterday while at the Nashville Zoo, I lost my id...presumably AT the zoo. Although bets are still being made as to exactly where I dropped it. The bottom line is...my shit is gone. In fear of losing my entire wallet, I only brought my ID, my bank card and my medical insurance card (this is me you are talking about).

Thank god this is a bank card and not a credit card, because not only would I be left without an identification card, but I'd be broke as shit too...because for some reason all of Nashville now checks IDs when I pay.

I've managed to avoid paying by card AND have slipped by 2 bouncers at bars/clubs. Helps having boobs and a vagina :)

Providing I WANT to go back to LA, I will need to somehow produce a picture ID before my flight on Wednesday. We all know how quickly California DMV works, so I'm going to go ahead and just skip that idea.

I guess it's a good thing I travel a lot because I happen to have a valid passport....at home. No problem. $45 and awesome parents later, my passport is on it's way here. If this somehow gets lost, I'm calling uHaul and moving all my shit from LA to Nashville. I like it here better anyway.

It doesn't hurt that there are two solid possibilities for a well paying job here....

I'm just sayin.

Back to regular programming.

The past 38 days have flown by like a few days on speed!

This seems to be the trend in my life recently....and I love it.

I've been busy on a daily basis and it's making me ridiculously happy. I have found myself again.

I'm currently visiting one of my amazing friends in Nashville. Not only do I get to see another new state, but I get to hang out with two of the most extraordinary people I have the pleasure of knowing.

We haven't stopped laughing since I landed two days ago and today we had a jam packed day of visiting my other family....at the Zoo. Pictures to come in a bit. I'm tired and sore from walking all day but so amazingly fulfilled.

On a side note, I am currently absolutely obsessed with a song. It's beyond a song crush, it's lust. I've had it on repeat for days now. I think it's surpassed the crush play count a long time ago.

Skin by Rihanna

Holy sexy song batman. If you haven't heard it yet please do yourself a favor and look it up. If you have then you know what the hell I'm talking about. Make sure you're not in public when you let it take you somewhere it's inevitably going to take you....

enjoy.

#01 Work space.

I will include a picture at a later time. (It's just too dark at the moment, and I'm not in my usual work space.)

Anywhere I go it's usually my Mac PowerBook G4 (yeah, it's ancient but it gets everything done), my journal/notebook, three different writing utensils (a black pen, a mechanical pencil, a sharpie), my cell phone tethered to the laptop to charge, random pieces of paper where I've written down notes or ideas for something, a bottle of water, some form of a snack (usually my pre-made snack bags...I get cranky if I don't eat regularly), and some source of music.

This could be on a bed, at a coffee shop table, at my actual desk, in the garage office, outside on the patio, or at the beach. The arrangement stays pretty much the same. I'm a creature of habit and comfort and I'm a cancer, so I nest lol

I'm surprisingly organized....to the point of OCD. :)

#02 The best part of my day.

Whatever day it may be, night time is the best part of my day. Between the hours of 9pm and 3am. I get so much done in those hours. It's where my brain is most relaxed and when all my creative juices seem to flow.

Being single makes this time really focused on completing projects, writing, and just spending time with myself in complete peace and quiet.

If I'm in a relationship, it's when I get the most quality time in with that person. I like one on one time.

#03 Something I refuse to do.

There are a few hypothetical things I would refuse to do like hurt animals. I would rather cut my own legs off than knowingly hurt an animal.

I also refuse to lower my standards for people in order to "settle" for something. If something isn't up to par, I just move along.

I absolutely will not clip a pet's nails. I just can't do it. I get anxiety just thinking about it! I have no idea why, I just can't.

I will not lie. I've been in some pretty serious situations where telling a lie would have saved some heartache and anger, but I refuse to lie to make shit easy. It's not really easy, so why pretend it is. So if you ask me if those jeans make you look fat, I will tell you they do. Don't get mad, just change your pants :)

I will never leave a friend or a family member helpless. I refuse to stand and do nothing when there is something I can do about it.

I refuse to do drugs. It's just not for me. I can't seem to relinquish control long enough to try any drug. I'd rather see life through the fucked up glasses that are clear.

That's enough for now ;)

#04 Last book read.

I'm saddened to say that the last pages I've read were that of a textbook.

Although very useful and insightful, I miss reading a REAL book with a REAL story.

The last real book I briefly scanned was called "The Last Real Slut"....a story about a groupie for all of the music industry. Once my best friend finishes it, I'll be all over it.

I'm also slightly obsessed with medical books and books on anatomy. You won't find magazines in my bathroom, you'll find Merck's Medical Encyclopedia....I kid you not.

#05 Meaning behind my blog name.

My screen name comes from a nickname I got a few years back by a friend who made me laugh like nobody else I know.

One night I was working late  in a music studio, wiring, stuck between a wall and a deck of equipment, my phone buzzed with a text from my friend Will saying "good night Angel Poop."

I almost lost the content of my bladder laughing at that.

The next morning I asked him what the hell happened and why he called me that.

 He explained that it was the perfect description of me. I was a turd...but one from an angel...so how could anyone really be mad at me lol

I suppose he was right. I am a turd. A sparkly, fresh and heavenly smelling turd. The kind you keep in your pocket.

Two years after he gave me that nickname, another person (completely oblivious to the nickname) called me angel dust poop....

I'm destined to be some sort of angelic fecal matter *shrug*

It fits.

As far as the name of the blog: It's a play on words. Not only is this blog pieces of my life on a daily basis, but it is also my life in pieces...tiny, shattered pieces. Because when I started this blog, my life was crushed and I've slowly picked up pieces through writing and have been gluing it back to make a bigger picture.

#06 Talent you wish you had.

I suppose it's not a talent per se...I wish I had patience.

Real patience. Not forced patience where I crawl up walls and wish I could sell a kidney to make things go faster.

I just can't wait....for anything.

Like the microwave to finish any amount of time I set on it...or a toaster....or being on hold...

I'm an instant gratification kind of person.

So ya, patience would be a talent for me.

Recon it's something I can practice my way into?

#07 A photo without makeup.

 

I don't wear much makeup as it is, but this is sans a drop of foundation or mascara. 

#8 Last Purchase

In this order:

1. A present for someone.
2. A candle that I can't stop from sniffing.
3. A better locking water container cos I keep giving up half way on my old way and spilling water all over the damn place.
4. Wendy's Spicy Chicken sandwich. Sometimes it just hits all the right spots.
5. USPS shipping.
6. $40 worth of sushi (to take up to top of Topanga to eat with my bestie)
7. $10 worth of the stuff that keeps me alive these days. My B12 injection.

Thanks for participating in: a day in the life of my money.

#09 Sadness all around

I get sad when things don't go as I want them to go. I don't mean like a tantrum kind of sad, I mean I genuinely pout.

When I can't change things no matter how hard I try. That also makes me sad.

Thinking of never meeting my grandpa on my mom's side.

Missing my aunt Jo, cousin Danny, Sy and Ale...

Oh and distance. I hate not being around family and the people I like.

Great.

Now I'm gonna go eat a whole thing of ice cream so I won't be sad anymore.

#10 15 Facts

Let's get down to business, I guess:

1. I can fold and flip my tongue when nobody else in my family can. (I'm waiting for DNA results on this one)
2. I don't think I can survive one day without affection.
3. I'm terrified of the dark.
5. I fall in love with souls. I don't see race, age, or gender. If your soul speaks to me, I'm hooked.
6. I'm some 10th Gypsy. I know, it scares me too. But certainly explains a lot.
7. If given the freedom, I would never wear shoes again.
8. Ironically, I have a sick addiction to Chucks. I'm talking 12 pairs.
9. I don't smoke, drink or do drugs...of any kind.
10. I will most likely need B12 injections for the rest of my life due to some weird, unexplained deficiency.
11. I feel that I am destined for greatness.
12. I'm a masochist. Pain = pleasure. It's ok, I wouldn't have guessed it either.
13. My brain is a sponge. I know and remember very unusual facts.
14. I am infectiously attracted to intelligence. If someone is pretty and dumb, I want to cry.
15. Every single thing I say and do is calculated and thought through.

#11 Favorite thing right now.

I have to admit, I wanted to skip this question.

1. Because I will never admit to having favorites.
2. Because people that know me know what it is.
3. It....isn't an IT.

That being said. I like my life right now.

So....my life is my favorite thing right now :)

# 12 Best Christmas Present

I'm the hardest person to get presents for simply because I work my ass off to get the things I want and never in my life expect someone else to get it for me.

Every present I receive that I know comes from the heart....from someone simply being thoughtful....and whatever is it that just reminds them of me...that's the present that makes me smile.

These things are usually the smallest most ridiculous presents to someone else, but to me, they mean the world.

On that note, the most used present I ever got was from my parents on some Christmas when they gave me my 80G iPod. I think I may have actually cried.

Since music is my life line, that thing went EVERYWHERE with me and it held 3 months worth of music without repeating.

Then one day....it died. I still have it and refuse to give it up lol

#13 Favorite teacher.

I have to dig back to my freshman year of high school. (Because, frankly, I don't remember much of the rest of the years of high school, and I was never impressed by any teachers before high school.)

Anyway, the teacher that made the biggest impression on me was Mr. Sanders...or "Sir" as we all called him...was my 9th grade English teacher.

I just loved his teaching style. He was the first ever teacher to treat students like humans instead of dumb ass kids. I never felt like we were being taught AT, we were explained and we learned things this way. I don't even remember that he had a real grading policy.

He accepted zero bullshit and not a single person in that class ever tried to pull any bullshit.

I started liking and learning to write in that class. I think I owe him a thank you.

So, Sir, wherever you may be right now, thank you for inspiring me to becoming a better human at a young age and for opening my eyes to literature and making learning fun.

#14 Thankful.

I'm thankful for the genetics that make up the individual that is ME.

Just recently I've come to accept me for myself. In all that I entail. The good, the bad, the annoying, and the irreplaceable. The weaknesses and the strength.

I'm thankful that my parents raised me to be so generous and loving. I'm thankful that I never let that go no matter what I'm faced with in return.

I'm thankful for the amount of LOVE, care, affection and acceptance I've always been given by my family.

It's shaped me into the best person I know how to be. Which sadly, sometimes leaves me hurt and taken for granted. But I'm still very thankful for every bit of it. :)

#15 A photo from your childhood.

 

I'm 3 here. Clearly somebody forgot to tell me I should be happy as a 3-year-old. Too smart for my own good.

#16 Something you crave

Oh this is such bad timing to ask me this lol

To stay away from anything inappropriate I'll refrain from naming any names.

I'll just go for my day to day cravings:

when I crave, I crave spicy. And sweet. Together preferably.

Come to think of it, I guess it applies to more than just food :)

#17 Worst hair day.

Maybe not the worst of ALL time....because thankfully, there aren't any pictures of those left to show (when I went brave and decided bangs were a good idea...ya...not for me), but, this day not only did my hair look like a true rock star, I also felt like complete ass. It was in the very beginning of my body crashing from the b12 deficiency.

In all my glory:

#18 Favorite smells.

Oh man....I am such a smell oriented person.

I love the smell of freshly rained on soil.

Anything sweet baking in the kitchen.

Angel perfume on women (you may not be safe around me if you wear this)....ironically enough, it's the perfume I wear, but it smells entirely different on me...so I'm safe around myself lol

Laundry just out of the dryer.

Certain people fresh out of the shower.

Cucumbers.

This one incense I found in a tiny Tibetan store in Santa Monica...and proceeded to buy out her entire stock of it.

#19 Last time you cried.

I really only cry when I'm very deeply emotionally hurt or when I'm so frustrated that I just can't do anything else except cry.

The last time I cried was talking to my best friend about relationships and how I have the innate ability to pick the worst possible people to fall in love with.

It was a combination of past emotional fuck ups and frustration with not realizing I was wrong.

Truth hurts and my best friend made me cry realizing some shit. :)

#20 Last time you had to apologize to someone.

wow...I actually had to sit and really think back.

I try not to do shit that will require apologies later.

I think the last time I apologized was for over reacting to something. Probably to my best friend.

I honestly can't remember.

I'm the first person to say I'm sorry when I know I'm wrong.

#21 Something that scares you.

I'm picking 3 things.

I am not ashamed to admit to all three of these:

1. The dark. Yes. A fully grown adult. Afraid of the dark. I try not to let it get to me, but if I have to turn off the lights in one room and cross to another room in the dark, I start pulling some Michael Jackson moves or sprinting like I'm participating in the Olympics. I don't know what I'm afraid of, but if someone sneaks up on me in the dark, there are high chances of murder...on my behalf.

2. Spiders. And bugs in general. I will pull a ninja move on a spider if I see it anywhere near me.

3. Commitment. Maybe I'm not so much afraid of the commitment itself, but the seemingly inevitable hurt that comes with it. I'd rather not get into it if there is a chance of hurt in the forecast.