Today, I shall be....a PONY!

I have to come clean about something. 

 It's true. 

I chose to be gay. 

All this time I've been lying. 

There I was, at age 15 thinking "you know, I'm sick of being treated like a human. Look at those homos, they have all these rights! I never get my ass kicked or get harassed for being straight! nobody looks at me funny when i hold a guy's hand. Kids never call me a fagot or a dyke. my parents accept me. what the fuck?! i deserve to try gay and get all that! who wants to go be by their loved one's side when they are in the hospital anyway!?? and i certainly wouldn't want to get a tax break by getting married, or be selfish by being able to put my partner on my medical plan. Starting today, I will be gay! And there's nothing you can do about it!"

Yup. Couldn't fathom living my life being accepted as part of the "norm". Choosing to be gay was the best day of my life! Kinda like the rest of you chose to be ignorant assholes the day you were born.

Think before you speak, folks. Telling someone their sexual orientation is a choice is like calling their nationality a choice. I can't just suddenly choose to be Chinese one day. It just kinda sorta doesn't work that way. Your blood, your genes, and your orientation is something you're born with.

 

and today....I shall be a PONY!

Glory Days

Keep in mind, the only person that remembers how cool you were in high school is YOU. If you haven't made something of yourself since then, well then you need to let go of that glory and realize there's more to life than your days of drug/alcohol induced awesomeness. And while, we're on the subject, it becomes uncool to wear your letterman jacket once you are able to buy your own beer.

Just sayin.

Aaaaannnnd we're back!

It appears I have somehow stumbled upon free time in my life. That time between when I SHOULD be falling asleep and the time when I ACTUALLY fall asleep. So....this time will now be filled with either going to the gym, snacking the entire house until I pass out from a food coma...OR...letting my brain purge in what can only loosely be referred to as "writing."  Don't blame me, blame the sandman that seems to have lost his directions to my house. I haven't moved, buddy...still here...waiting for my effin nightly beauty rest.  Anyway, I digress. I'm back. For as long as I have the time to write and enough smart ass things to bitch about...I've missed you.