Ya....no.

I'd like to address a strange clause in the policy of pharmacies. 

Three days ago I got my refill of "keep Linda normal" pills. Upon getting home, I realized they are a different shape and size. I suppose this shouldn't concern me since I don't usually care if my prescription is brand name, as long as it does it's job? On the other hand, I also know enough about chemical compositions of drugs and how different manufacturers will make the same drug "as close as possible" to the brand name. That being said, two different manufacturers make the "same" drug that ends up being .001% different in chemical composition. 

Leave it to assholes like me to be so sensitive to any drugs that this tiny percent makes the drug either completely useless or have adverse reactions. Guess which one it was this time around? You got it. Three nights in a row I've been having the worst nightmares and waking up in a sweaty panic 3-4 times a night....and that's if I actually fell asleep. All day I'd walk around like a zombie with a head that felt like it was filled with helium. Anxiety kicked into high gear, I was starting to feel like February 2010. 

Not really feeling like doing that year all over again, I headed down to my pharmacy to ask them to give me back the crap they gave me the last 9 months instead of these extra crazy pills. 

I calmly explained what my situation is and the lady at the counter went off to look up my info. She comes back with my pills and says "I can write in that you prefer **** as the manufacturer for your next refill, however, we can't take these back as per our policy. What we can do is see if your insurance will allow an early refill and if not, you will have to pay for the new pills out of pocket." 

I plain out look at her like she just spoke Chinese to me and respond with "so do you suppose someone will buy these on eBay, or you think Craigslist works better for these sort of things?" 

She now looks at me like I spoke Chinese. We stare for a bit, i raise an eyebrow, she looks even more confused, I keep looking, she walks away and goes to the pharmacist on duty. She speaks to her for 5 minutes and walks back with the pharmacist following. 

The pharmacist smiles and asks me to step to the "pick up" line. I smile back and step over. She explains to me how many people are extremely sensitive to things like this and she completely understands and will make a note in my file to only give me **** manufacturer and not to worry, they will make an exception to refill my prescription with the new pills and gladly take the old pills back. 

I say thank you, smile and take my new "happy" pills home. At no charge. 

Because, seriously, if you're going to tell me I'm going to have to keep my shitty drugs and pay for another refill of good drugs 3 days later (based on your shitty policy), I absolutely will sell my shitty drugs on eBay...under your name. 

I'm just sayin.