Some days I'm strapped for thoughts. Or maybe my head is overfilled with thoughts? I don't know what the case was today. I know I woke up super late today... super tired (mainly from waking up to every single small sound in the house thinking it was the ghost/demon from the movie coming to snap my neck like a kit kat bar). After "helping" my bestie paint what is really my room in her house, we were just completely worn out. I was so fixated on whatever was going on in my head that I barely spoke all day. I seem to have days where I'm so internally focused that I forget I'm present in a room and people may be talking to me. It's almost an auto pilot mode where I'm really calm and quiet but by looking at me you'll know it's anything but calm and quiet inside my head.
Lately I've just been fighting between acting on impulses and acting like an adult. Also battling my normally passive demeanor an forgiving nature by not giving into it. I have to remind myself on a daily basis why I feel the way I feel about certain things and how they haven't changed so why should I change the way I feel about it? Seems easy enough. Not to a stupid Cancer child. In this sense, we seem to have the memory of a fly. Anyway, I digress.
I'm grabbing my god daughter and her sister tomorrow for a sleep over so I can put the endless bundles of energy to work lol decorating the house for Halloween, carve some pumpkins, arts, crafts, feed them sugar and send them back to their parents to deal with the consequences. Its what god mothers are supposed to do. I read up on it. But seriously, I haven't hung out with them in ages and I miss feeling old and getting filled in on the trends and cools of today's pre teens. This should be somewhat entertaining. I'm planning on also making sure they aren't getting bullied in school and god save them if THEY are the bullies.
I'd write something more deep than this...but my head is far too consumed to be able to think and write all at once.
There's always tomorrow.
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