I'm a little bit overwhelmed today with the things going on so I've been pretty reserved and keeping to myself all day. Spent majority of the day cleaning around the house with bursts of energy followed by complete lack of energy. Finally got the filing cabinet sorted out with a mess of documents that my dad likes to call "filed" documents...it was more of a conglomeration of very important things mixed in with 1992 tax returns and receipts from my first trip to rite aid for their famous 49c ice cream cones. I knew this would not only take time but also my mind off tomorrow.
Funeral day.
There is absolutely nothing to say about the inevitable sadness and difficulty of tomorrow. I just want to make it through the day without a panic attack...everything else I will take on my shoulders and deal as best I can.
I gotta turn in and sleep well. Praying for the sandman to come and let me rest.
Life and death. In life we make decisions...and what happens after death. ?
ReplyDeleteThat's a nice description of your dad's "filed" documents...isolated events and tidbits of what we think are "important". I often think that memory is like a filing cabinet. We keep the pictures we think important organized and in the front. But what if we are wrong, or if we forget or repress something so important, so obviously important until it slips into the ether.
I firmly believe that hundreds of feet beneath us are photographs buried in the mud of all the memories and dreams we acquire throughout our lives. Torn photos of loves lost, bright photos of the strange monsters in a childhood nightmare. And all of them buried in layers of mud and stone, a chronological progression from then to now, cataloged for future use. But unexamined.
Funny some of the things we choose to be important. There are reasons behind the choices, there always are. Strange, the people we twist into as determined by the choices we make.